Life and Love and Why

Covenant Prayer Project

2012-01-18T14:34:00.001-05:00

Ok word nerds and theology geeks. I am working on a Confirmation Retreat that I'm running in March, and I would like to use the Wesleyan Covenant Prayer in our closing worship. The challenge is that while I don't want to dumb down the language and theology for youth, I would like to find more accessible language. (I am well aware that sometimes I think language is beautiful and accessible only to find that my audience thinks its boring). So I went to work paraphrasing, and I would love to get some feedback, suggestions, etc. I'll put my version, and the version in contemporary language from the General Board of Discipleship website. There are some words like "exalted" that I didn't want to get rid of, but I wasn't sure if they were too churchy. What do you think?

My version:
I’m not my own anymore, I’m yours.

I’ll take any assignment, I’ll accept any status.

If something needs to be done, I’ll do it.

If you ask me to suffer, I’ll get through it.

I’ll be employed for you, or laid off for you.

Raised up for you, or brought low for you.

Whether I’m full or empty,

whether I have everything or nothing,

freely, with my whole heart,

I give everything to you

to use as you please.

And now,

Glorious and blessed God

Father, Son and Holy Spirit

You are mine and I am yours.

So be it.

This covenant is made on earth,

But let it be signed and sealed in heaven.

Amen.

Contemporary Version:

I am no longer my own by yours.

Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,

exalted for you or brought low for you.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, glorious and blessed God,

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

you are mine and I am yours.

So be it.

And the covenant now made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.

Love in Nicaragua

2011-11-11T12:15:00.000-05:00

In October I was blessed with the opportunity to travel to Nicaragua on a mission trip with 8 other people from the Peninsula-Delaware Conference area. We were hosted by an organization called El Ayudante, which helps to support churches and schools that work to feed and educate children in poor communities. We visited several schools and churches, where we played, did crafts, sang songs, and encouraged the children to grow up to the be loved and gifted people God created them to be. We were also able to leave donations of money and school supplies at each place.

At each location I was blessed with the opportunity connect with a few kids, and I was reminded that kids everywhere are the same! They love hugs and having their pictures taken. They love to sing, they get a little too wound up when they have sugar and attention, and the boys can't resist the urge to inflate their empty juice boxes and stomp on them, making everyone jump! It was hard for us to see such beautiful children living in poverty. Most of schools and churches provide meals when they can, because many of the children would have very little to eat otherwise. But, we were inspired by the way God has called people in these communities to help feed and teach these children so that they might have the chance to get out of their circumstances someday.

One of the most special experiences for me was handing out leftover Pecometh t-shirts and dresses that some of our campers made. I was honored to be able to connect our campers who are so blessed and generous with these children whose faces lit up when they were given new clothes that were just for them.

Thanks to everyone who supported me financially and through prayer! As I encountered poverty and injustice in Nicaragua, I was reminded that we also still have poverty and injustice in our own country as well. It is a comfort to know that our church family is doing what we can to help people in our own community, in our own country, and around the world.

Check out my pictures on Facebook... Nicaragua 2011 Part 1 and Nicaragua 2011 Part 2!

Nicaragua!

2011-09-27T16:37:00.001-04:00

Sad backpack, ready for Haiti

Some of you remember that I was supposed to go on a mission trip to Haiti in December, but then we couldn't go because of the growing violence the the days before we were supposed to leave. The team rescheduled for March, but because of my responsibilities at camp I was unable to go. I decided to set aside the money I raised, and keep an eye out for future trips.

While I was looking for a trip to join, I was starting to envy the people I know who were working with kids on mission trips. I had been focusing on construction trips in Haiti because of the need there and the fact that I don't mind roughing it (even if I don't have any construction skills). Then last spring I got an email about a mission trip to Nicaragua that would happen October 22-29. To be honest, I have never had an interest in going to South or Central America, but something about this trip jumped out at me. The dates would fit well with my Pecometh schedule, I know the pastor co-leading the trip, and the work would be centered around El Ayudante Family Enrichment Center in Leon! So with that I was planning to go on another mission trip, but this time I already had money raised and had all the right shots!

Now my trip is less than a month away, and I'm starting to get really excited! We had a meeting with the team last month and got some more information. In Nicaragua, many kids are placed in orphanages by their families who are struggling to make ends meet; for this reason the Nicaraguan government has placed an emphasis on placing kids with family members rather than keeping them in group homes. El Ayudante used to be an orphanage but now that all of the kids have been placed in homes or adopted, they focus on resourcing families. During our time there we will probably do some work at the center (possibly painting some rooms), as well as visiting schools to do crafts, hand out snacks, and donate school supplies! In addition we get to spend time with some of the kids who are served by the center (which might include taking them out for ice cream, and taking kids buy new clothes).

Most of my money has been raised, but if you would like to donate money or supplies to the team, please let me know. And of course please keep me in your prayers! I never wanted to go to Nicaragua before, but now that I am getting ready to go I am excited about learning about a new culture, and doing my small part to support families who are struggling to raise children in poverty. I am going to take some dresses that the Girls II Greatness program made during summer camp, and I'll also be getting together some school supplies and other things. Thanks for your support!

Supplies need at El Ayudante:

flip flops, over size 1

pencils

pens, red, black, blue

permanent markers

dry erase markers, dry erasers

paper, plain

plastic rulers

play dough

glue

printer paper

3 ring binders, inch and a half

washcloths

hand towels

mattress covers and sheets for twin beds

notebooks

hygiene items, shampoo, soap, toothpaste

Sermonizing

2011-06-26T11:42:00.000-04:00

I was really excited to be preaching at camp again this summer... until about 2 weeks ago when my ideas stopped sounding good to me. Writing my first two sermons this summer felt really forced, like I couldn't quite grasp what I was supposed to be preaching, and nothing I planned felt right. Both times preaching (especially the first time at staff Galilean) I ended up feeling in the moment that God was guiding my words. So maybe God is trying to teach me to be more spontaneous, more in nimble in my discernment of what I'm supposed to be doing and saying. But I don't like that. I like to have an outline that feels right. I want to go in knowing what I'm supposed to say.

Usually when I am preaching during camp, I have an idea for a sermon by about Wednesday, and by Saturday it is has taken shape in my head into a fully formed sermon that just needs to be written down. I like it when that happens, because I don't really have much time during the camp week to do sermon prep. Yesterday as I picked up books for inspiration, all I knew was that I am feeling led to preach on ecclesiology this summer (what it means to be the church). So I walked into the staff lounge, ready to read and struggle, and another staffer, Leo, asked me when I wanted him to preach. He's a student in seminary to be a Catholic priest, and I had previously asked him to consider preaching this summer but we hadn't nailed down a date. I joked that this weekend would be great, but I wouldn't do that to him, and I was surprised that he seemed to be ready to preach. I was hesitant to have someone preach on a day's notice (although my first time preaching at camp was on a day's notice), but he seemed to have been mulling over his sermon idea already... so I went with it. I think that was the Spirit's leading? Or maybe I was just tired?

Anyway, this morning I came to worship relieved to not have to preach. I led the first part of the service, but because I was not thinking about my sermon I was able to really relax and get into the songs. Amy, our music leader, played "It Is Well With My Soul" and something inside me just clicked. Leo started preaching right after that, and within the first two minutes of his sermon I had a sermon for next week (mostly unrelated to his sermon, but I swear I was paying attention). So... I guess the Spirit knows what the Spirit is doing. It took a few minutes in worship for me to reconnect. And the sermon today was on prayer by the way.... go figure. I wish I could remember, when I am frustrated by how my sermonizing is going, that I need to spend some time in prayer and worship to get going again. Duh.

A Good Earth (Fri)Day

2011-04-22T12:11:00.002-04:00

Mountains, now scarred by MTR mining

Last year I spent three weeks in Appalachian Kentucky. During that time I fell in love with the beautiful landscape and the warm communities, but my heart broke over the systemic poverty as well as the environmental and social damage that the coal industry has done in the communities we visited. We heard stories about how the coal companies cut corners, putting workers at risk. People there were frustrated at the disconnect between their own struggling communities and the communities all over the country that are powered by the hard work of coal miners. About 2 months after I returned, 29 miners were killed in the Upper Big Branch mine disaster in West Virginia. In the past year there have been more mining accidents around the world. A major oil spill has devastated the Gulf Coast. The world is still struggling to fathom the extent of the nuclear crisis in Japan. On this Good Friday that is also Earth Day, I can't help lamenting that we need to do better.

In Genesis 1, God creates the earth, and places humans in the center of it. We are given a habitat where all of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met. We are blessed with the charge to live in shalom with others, and to maintain the shalom of the earth around us. But today as we look at the news in the Gulf Coast or in northern Japan, or even when we look out our windows, we don't see shalom. Our TVs are able to stay on because of industries that are destroying mountains, dumping oil into oceans, oozing radiation into the land and sea, blasting chemicals into our backyards, and pumping the air full of toxins - not to mention endangering the lives of their own workers. We are only now awaking to how harmful our major sources of energy are. For too long we have been content to trust corporations to keep us safe and tell the truth about the environmental impact of what they do. But the story is the same over and over: corporations cut corners on safety and lie about their impact on public health and the environment. We don't know what to do about it, because lets be honest... we want to keep our laptops plugged it.

The same view, a few decades ago

When I arrived in Kentucky last year, I knew very little about the coal industry, except that I was vaguely against it in a suburban liberal tree-hugger kind of way. What I discovered was that getting rid of the coal industry would but something like pulling a big nasty weed out of your garden - it will be hard work that must be done carefully or you will risk destroying the other plants. The fossil fuel industries are impossibly entwined in the power structure of this country as a whole, and the communities in which they are digging. But I also witnessed the complex relationship that individuals in Appalachia have with the coal industry: their homes are being destroyed, their loved ones are endangered in mines and come out with terrible health problems, and they know that the government agencies who are supposed to look out for them are actually in the pockets of King Coal. And yet if coal goes, their communities will finally be defeated by the poverty against which they have been struggling for generations. This poverty, by the way, has its roots in industries repeatedly swindling people out of the rich natural resources of the region. If that isn't a example of systemic poverty and economic oppression, I don't know what is.

In eastern Kentucky I spoke with dozens of people - pastors, miners, environmentalists, families of miners, activists, and students. As I started to realize just how clueless I was about the complexity of the coal problem, I began to ask people what they wanted "outsiders" to know about the coal industry. A common theme began to emerge. Know where your energy is coming from. I was told that about 50% of US energy comes from coal, and most people don't appreciate the work and risk that goes into powering the grid. (The same can be said about the oil industry and petroleum-based products). An environmental activist and the owner of a small-scale mining operation told me the same thing: use less energy. Unplug things you aren't using. Turn off the lights if you don't need them. Don't keep your laptop plugged in all the time. I asked the miner what he wanted us to know about the coal industry (he seemed surprised that I was asking). He thought for a moment, and responded that we need to find a better way, but right now lots of people are doing the best they can with the resources they have. His company goes in after the big coal companies sloppily get the easy coal; he gleans the smaller coal seams and then does the best he can to restore the site to something resembling a mountain. I was moved by his honesty; here was a man who was mining coal, and he was trying to be a good steward of the coal resources and his workers.

Crazy mutated Easter daffodil

The debate over energy policy, like any political issue, is contentious and complicated. But rather than arguing environmentalist vs. capitalist or liberal vs. conservative, maybe we should be taking a few big steps and lots of little steps toward restoring shalom. We need to think big about sustainable sources of energy, and in the meantime we need to stop consuming energy without restraint or reason. We need to stand by the people whose communities and livelihoods are tied up with these industries, and support them in finding ways to breathe new economic life into their region. In religious language, we need to repent of our environmental and social sins, and seek reconciliation with each other and with the created world. We are in a Good Friday moment environmentally... we are realizing what our sin has done to the gift that God has given us. Now is the time to repent and change our ways. Anyone who has paid attention to spring knows that the created world has a lot to teach us about Easter.

Wild Curls Can't be Broken (Well they shouldn't be anyway)

2011-04-12T12:04:00.000-04:00

If you or a loved one has curly hair, you know that it can be a bit of a struggle to strike a balance that keeps curly hair happy and bouncy, rather than frizzy and uncontrollable. But of course I am also trying to slowly cut out products around the house that contain chemicals, and replace them with natural alternatives. So I was intrigued when the Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast (a invariably entertaining and interesting podcast for women) did an episode on the No-poo movement, followers of which say that you don't need to shampoo your hair - there are better natural alternatives that aren't harmful to your hair, your health, and the environment.

Of course, I already knew that curly hair generally does not need to be washed as often as straight hair, and that many products we use strip our hair of the moisture that is so essential to our curls. Shampoo actually strips our hair of sebum, the natural oil that protects the hair follicle. Conditioner becomes necessary to restore moisture artificially, but most shampoos and conditioners contain other things that weigh down hair. Wait a minute - the last thing we want to do is weigh down our curls! Shampoo free people instead use natural rinses to rinse out the gunk without stripping out the sebum, and then they condition with natural chemical-free conditioners. One of the best, apparently, is vinegar of all things.

In doing some of my research, I started to see the straight-hair bias that is in the hair care industry. In Organic Body Care Recipes, which we use for our Girls II Greatness program, and author Stephanie Tourles writes the chapter on hair as a curly girl. She says, "Society often deems straight-haired people as the most intelligent, organized, beautiful, and clean-cut... Those with curly or kinky hair often feel compelled to "tame" or smooth their mane in professional circles so it won't be perceived as wild, untidy, or unabashedly sexy." She says that after years of trying to tame her hair, she discovered that curly hair should be shampooed no more than every 2 weeks, and she recommends several recipes for rinses and conditioning treatments similar to the ones described by the No-poo people.

So, a few months ago I started experimenting with washing my hair less, and also using Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap (which you can use on everything from your hair to your kitchen floors), which is organic and fair trade. Several of my friends at church have started using it, so I went on their recommendation. The other day I replaced my Panteen conditioner with Dr. Bronner's Conditioning Hair Rinse and Leave-In Conditioner. I have read some other blogs about those products, and decided to go ahead and try them. It seemed like the people who had the best luck with them had curly hair, or discovered that their hair was wavy after they started using them.

So far its only been about a week - I've already noticed that my hair is less frizzy and my curls are a little bigger and better defined even without using other product. I'll update again on how things are working. For now it seems that working with my hair instead of against it might be the key to getting my hair to cooperate. And I'm working on ignoring the stereotypes about curly hair. When I straighten my hair people always say things like "You look so professional!" or "You look so nice with straight hair - why don't you just leave your hair straight?" The answer to that question is that it takes 45 minutes just to straighten my hair (not counting blow-drying, which generally takes another 30 minutes), and also I don't want to destroy my hair. And also because it just goes against the grain to try to stifle my curly nature.

Stir This Batter, While I Create the World

2011-01-27T11:44:00.003-05:00

Lately when I reflect on what it means to be in ministry in the world, I am transported back to Christmas 1985. I was three years old and my Grama Char and I were baking thumbprint cookies in her kitchen. Anyone who has baked with a three-year-old knows that one does not invite a toddler into the kitchen out of a need for extra help; I am sure I contributed more to making messes than baking cookies.

I was in the kitchen because I was (for one more year, at least) my Grama's only grandchild, and she wanted to make cookies with me. And I wanted to help. I wanted to be like her. So much in fact, for at least part of the time I wore blue knitted mittens in imitation of her oven mitts. I felt so prepared for baking. This memory comes to mind lately, whenever I am trying to tackle the question of why God created the world and gave humans "dominion" over it. My hunch is that when God tells us that we have dominion over the earth, it less like a landlord handing over the keys to a superintendent, and more like a grandparent inviting a three-year-old into the kitchen.

25 years later and 900 miles away, I am in my uncle's kitchen in Florida and I am seasoning ingredients for chirashizushi, at my Grama Ty's direction. All I really need to do is season different ingredients in dashi, but I am feeling a little useless. I don't know where things are in the kitchen. I'm not sure how long to simmer things, how high the heat should be, or exactly what the end result should taste like. But, I'm learning. I have been watching my grandparents in the kitchen to learn how to make our family's favorite Japanese recipes, especially because most of them seem too nuanced to just jot down ingredients and steps. You have to learn by doing, and it takes practice to know how much salt or soy sauce will yield that exact flavor that we have grown up tasting.

The life of faith is the same way. When God invites us to take part in the stewardship of creation, it is not because God needs the help or because we are even particularly prepared. We have blue mittens on our hands, and we don't know which cabinet holds which pots. But God thinks our blue mittens are adorable, and can't wait to watch our little fingers make the little imprints in the cookie dough. And as we know from our experiences in our grandparents' kitchens and gardens and woodshops, when we work together we learn from each other and - more importantly - we learn about each other. In Matthew 11:25-30, Jesus talks about this, and I particularly love the way the Message paraphrase puts it, especially at the end:

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (If you want, compare with the NRSV).

When it comes to being invited into God's kitchen, the lessons are more varied than we can imagine, but they all involve practicing together - together with God, and together in communities of faith. When we worship together or pray together, when we reach out in compassion or sing a song with someone, we are learning the unforced rhythms of grace. When we get to know the created world, and when we enter into the tasks of caring for and preserving the natural environments around us, we learn more about the character of the one who created it. Sometimes we don't feel like helping out or learning. But the deeper our relationship with God grows, the more we long for that time together and the more we are able to recognize and share the flavor of grace.

Like Martin Luther King, Jr

2011-01-17T17:30:00.002-05:00

"Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my last year in seminary, I took a religion and politics class that spent a class or two on the writings and teachings of Martin Luther King, Jr. This was one of those moments in my life when I realized how little I had actually learned about certain parts of history. It struck me how learning more about Dr. King's personal story changed my concept of what it means to follow his example.

We are taught about the Civil Rights Movement from an early age, but what we get often is a bullet-point list of dates, inspiration quotes (often out of context), and caricatures of a few important figures. We see romanticized portraits of Rosa Parks and Dr. King, exceptional people who had what it took to stand up to oppression and injustice. The stories take on a tone of myths in which the ordinary person is caught up in extraordinary events through fate.

We don't as often hear that most of these people were already part of the non-violent resistance movement, or that leaders held trainings to teach people how to strategically use non-violent techniques. We forget that before Dr. King was chosen to be the face of the movement, he studied hard, trained to be a pastor, and worked toward a Ph.D. He traveled to learn from Ghandi. His methods and rhetorical devices weren't handed down directly from God, but were gleaned from studying the long religious tradition full of writings about standing up for justice - and from the wisdom of people around him in the movement.

There's no question that Martin Luther King, Jr was gifted in special ways in order to help our nation move closer to being a just society. But who can say what any of us is capable of if we take a stand in difficult situations? We let ourselves off the hook when we say, "I could never be like that." In Wesleyan terms, we are invited to say, "The grace of God can perfect me in love, so my hope is to be like that." Heroes and Saints grow into their roles in history. For some that means Ph.Ds while for others it means learning as we go, but for all of us it means opening our eyes and engaging in struggles against injustice that are going on around us. That is something we can all do.

Ups and Downs in 2010

2010-12-30T19:00:00.002-05:00

2010 is coming to a close and what's a blog for if not to share some reflections about the last year? I thought I remembered making some resolutions, but according to my blog I did not. I did, however have a few goals that I ended up working toward, and so I'll incorporate those into the following bullet-point list of 2010 highs and lows.

The first couple days of 2010 were fabulous! Rang in the new year on vacation with some excellent people, in one of my favorite places (the OBX). Also tried making Giada's Roman Chicken recipe, and even the pickiest eaters claimed to like it.
Things went from high to low for another few days. I was supposed to leave from vacation for an immersion trip in Kentucky, but instead I headed home to go to a funeral. The day before the funeral I flipped my hybrid into a ditch. Bye, bye hybrid. :-(
BUT, once I got to Kentucky I was blessed by the people on my trip who welcomed me warmly when I arrived late, and supported me as I came out of my funk. My immersion in Kentucky was a fantastic time - good company, great theological conversations, and a beautiful and eye-opening experience of Appalachian Kentucky.
February sucked. I don't really remember why, it just did. It's my least favorite month and I was so glad it was over. Well, we had some snow which was cool.
Looking at my budget, I decided that I would not be allowed to plan any more international trips for at least all of 2010, so that I could try to build up my savings.
Did not succeed in building up my savings, partly because....
I visited Chicago, Miami, and San Francisco this year! Great cities. Many thanks to Pam, Erin, and Sergey for hosting me, Kieron for graduating from Miami, and Lonely Planet for making awesome city guides.
I finished serminary! And saw my brothers graduate from high school and college! And had a great joint grad party with Justin Allen Callahan.
Continued to learn how to be Pecometh Program Assistant, with a fantastic 2010 staff and my fabulous and musically talented Leadership Team.
Went on a fabulous camping trip the the SheNANdoah Mountains with some of my favorite adventurers. Visited Thomas Jefferson. Climbed mountains. Swam in waterfalls. Susan and Belay fell in love.
At some point this year I decided to continue a previous year's resolution to be braver and more open with people. I think that's coming along slowly but surely.
I continue to be amazed by the wonderful people who are in my life. Too many to list without leaving some out. Just know that I would probably hug you if I were less awkward. Maybe I'll hug some of you anyway...
Celebrated my 27th birthday with good friends and all kinds of shenanigans.
Almost broke my resolution to not travel internationally, but then Haiti went crazy. If deciding on a whim to go to Haiti amid flooding, poverty, earthquake damage, mild violence and cholera doesn't count as being braver, I don't know what does (although I ended up not being able to go). In any case it was kind of an uncharacteristic move for me.
Revisited yoga and took up Zumba.
Finally moved into my cabin in the woods and it is everything I've ever wanted in a small cabin in the woods (which many of you know I've wanted since I read my first Laura Ingalls Wilder book.
Overall I'm really happy with where I am at the end of this year, and a lot of really awesome things have happened for me.
I'll see in the new year with the amazing and slightly insane Shitama family, gathered in Gainesville, Florida (the place of my birth!) for Grampa Kaz's 90th birthday.

Looking forward, I'm excited for 2011. I'm starting out with work-related trips to North Carolina and London, and hope that I will be able to plan lots of non-work-related fun in both places. In addition, maybe I'd like to visit Boston, South Carolina and maybe Arizona.

What with my new lifestyle in my cabin in the woods, my only resolution of sorts is to be intentional about living simply and learning to spend more time in solitude (I might just go to the Pecometh Day of Silence and Solitude in January). As I continue to settle into my cabin (and gradually buy all the things I need like trashcans and toilet brushes) I would like to get rid of stuff I don't need, live more frugally, and spend more time developing spiritual practices. I hope to blog more on that as time goes on. We'll see how it goes...

Bigger and Badder (Blankets)

2010-12-10T00:58:00.002-05:00

And now for the opposite of cholera and political unrest... babies and knitting! I recently finished my fourth variation on a the Big Bad Baby Blanket (BBBB as its called in the blogsphere). I originally tried my hand at the pattern back in college, when I was looking through my trusty Stitch 'n Bitch* book and decided that I wanted to try something harder than a scarf. That first BBBB came out well, but unfortunately it fell prey to mice while it awaited a baby recipient. Nonetheless, I was hooked on that pattern - it produces a big sturdy blanket (usually around 3x3) that is double knit and durable. If you use different colored yarns knit together it produces beautiful patterns.

My second attempt at the BBBB ended up as a baptism present for Kyle, the son of my friends Sara and Aron. This time I used a sturdy baby yarn in blue and green. It was machine washable of course, because I do not believe in giving new parents hand-wash only baby creations. This project ended up being an exercise in letting go of my need for perfection, because I ran out of yarn and couldn't get more in time - so it ended up being rectangular and asymmetrical. I was pretty happy with the results. The green and blue looked pretty together and it was still a pretty good sized blanket.

My next attempt was last winter, and I went a little crazy with my new-found love of asymmetry. My friends Rich and Jen are serious Terps fans, and they also love things that are quirky. For them, I redesigned the BBBB into a funky stadium blanket for Roz's first Maryland football games. I chose retro UMD colors in Louet Gems yarn (which I fell in love with), and in a fit of insanity decided I was going to do an intarsia "M." The blanket proved to be a challenge - and it ended up being bigger than the 3x3 because I don't pay close attention to gauge when it comes to blankets. This yarn is machine washable with care. I will say that I was really pleased with the way this one came out, but half-way through the "M" work I was cursing myself for my ambition. I saw this blanket the other day, and its held up pretty well, although I haven't gotten the knack of weaving the ends in so they don't pop back out. It stretched out a little so it is a monstrous size now - it seems to be growing with Roz!

And finally my most recent project was for "Sweet Pea," as my friends Ashlee and Matt have nicknamed the daughter they are expecting in a couple months. As soon as Ashlee told me she was pregnant, the colors pink and green popped into my head - I had seen some really pretty variegated yarns in those colors in my LYS. Ashlee is a bit of a girly-girl, but I waited until she told me she was having a girl (somehow I just knew) and then went out and bought the yarn. Oh that yarn. I picked Ella rae Lace Merino, another machine washable (delicate)/dry flat yarn. I contemplated doing another funky pattern, but with this project I really wanted the yarn to be the main attraction. And besides, Ashlee is a pretty traditional lady in a lot of ways and I was already using some colors that are pretty vivid for a baby blanket. (I've decided I don't like knitting in pastels for babies, anyway). Sweet Pea's blanket is colorful and girly but not too girly. Its on the smaller side for a BBBB (about 26 in x 26 in) because the yarn is pretty fine. Hopefully she'll like it!

Knitting for babies great, because the projects tend to be less daunting than their grown-up sized counterparts. Plus, when I am knitting for babies I can channel all of my excitement, prayers, and happy thoughts for the family into whatever I'm making. The best projects really are knitted with love.

*Say what you like about the title, its the best book I've found for learning to knit.

More Bad News from Haiti

2010-12-09T12:17:00.002-05:00

As I'm following the news on Haiti I have been reflecting on the difference between a step in faith and a step in foolishness. Sometimes they are the same thing, but does that necessarily mean that a risk is always what God wants? For me it comes down to trying to discern what God trying to say to me... and I'm inclined to worry that my own wants or fears are influencing my discernment. When I decided to go to Haiti I worried that my sense of "call" was really my desire to do something adventurous, but then things fell into place so easily and it just felt right. Now, when things are looking much worse in Haiti I am eager to make sure that my discernment is not weighed down by fear.

But while I am a worrier, but I'm not a fearful traveler. In the past few weeks I had been reading about the spread of cholera, and a few riots against the U.N. that were sparked by beliefs that the epidemic was started by peacekeeping troops (which, as it turns out may be true). This made me a little nervous, but I was undeterred. After all, cholera is preventable, and if the violence was serious somebody important (the State Department, Volunteers in Mission, the General Board of Global Ministries, etc) would probably tell us not to go. Right? But following the news in Haiti this week has been a different story. Last month Haiti held a presidential election that was expected to result in a run-off election between two of the candidates. Earlier in the week, as Haiti waited for the election results, there was some violence in reaction to reported "irregularities" in the voting process. But someone would tell me if I shouldn't go. Right? Right? ....right?

Then the results broke yesterday and a popular candidate was eliminated, and as a result, violence has increased and a few people have (perhaps prematurely) thrown out term "civil war" as a possible outcome. American Airlines cancelled flights in and out of Haiti, because employees were unable to get to the airport. We might be able to fly down on Saturday, but I'm not sure that will happen (or if it should happen). Today the U.S. Embassy in Port-au-Prince is closed and recommends that Americans in Haiti stay home until the situation stabilizes. Violence has spread to other cities, including the one where I would be staying. And while I want to be faithful, and I believe in the power of God to protect me, I am also aware that I am the kind of missionary (inexperienced, short-term) that could prove to be more of a burden than a help in a situation like this. Not to mention the articles and blogs I saw yesterday about relief workers who flew down there this week only to be stuck inside unable to do anything. I want to do the right thing... so I'm listening and watching for confirmation.

While I am disappointed about my plans being thwarted, I am also encouraged by this exercise in discernment. I am grateful for all of the support I've received and all of the people who have been praying for me. And to be honest, my disappointment and concern is almost entirely eclipsed by my sorrow for the people in Haiti who have been through a major earthquake, a tropical storm, a cholera outbreak and now political riots and tear gas drifting into tent communities - and all of this after decades of poverty. My desire to help Haiti is strengthened even if my ability to go is not looking promising.

UPDATE: I decided not to go to Haiti, because the situation is just too unstable. I'm praying for a chance to go some other time.

Seeking Advent(ure) in Haiti

2010-12-05T00:40:00.001-05:00

Over the past week I have encountered Isaiah 40:1-11 a few different times in various devotionals. This is a pretty standard passage for the beginning of Advent, but this scripture is jumping out at me in new ways as I prepare for my trip to Haiti this week. Advent means "coming." It is the season in which we remember the coming of God incarnate in Jesus, we prepare our hearts to welcome Christ in our midst, and we look forward to the future restoration of the world. Isaiah's "voice crying out in the wilderness" reminds us of this future reality. And if there is a people on this earth who understand the impact of massive landscape change (physical, emotional and cultural), if there are people who know the fragility of life, if anyone is in need of comfort, embrace and the promise of restoration, it is the people of Haiti.

Calling a season "Coming" might sound as though we are passively waiting for an event to occur, but in the traditional Christmas stories characters are usually called upon to "get up and go." Jesus is coming, and we are told to prepare the way and go to the place where he is. Of course while we often talk about Christians "bringing the light of Christ into the world," in the Christmas stories only one human gets to do that. This has been a particularly meaningful truth for me as I prepare to go to Haiti; I am vividly aware of the fact that I am not "bringing God to Haiti," but going to a place where God is at work more powerfully than I can imagine.

So far my whirlwind mission whim has been an amazing experience. As of this weekend I've raised all of the money I need! I have said it before, but I am blessed with a great support system. In particular, I am amazed by my friends who donated money even though I know that they don't have a lot of money to be throwing around. Being on the receiving end of so much grace is a little overwhelming - I go through moments of feeling guilty for being given so much. It feels like I haven't given much yet and I've already received so much. Of course, if someone else was expressing these kinds of concerns to me I would tell them very sincerely that if they there is a need for people to help rebuild and that if someone has a desire and ability to go, she or he should go.

It isn't just on Christmas that we experience the coming of God. The real experience of God happens in the get-up-and-go-ing, when we seek out where good things are happening and join in. Things are really bad in Haiti right now. But I have heard stories from others about how people are working together to rebuild. It is no accident that we celebrate Advent and Christmas in December. As the days get shorter and shorter in the Northern Hemisphere, we are reminded that light has the most impact in the dark. I am excited to see how the light shines out in the dark in Haiti.

Three Weeks 'Til Haiti!

2010-11-17T17:20:00.000-05:00

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Good news: I have a vague idea of where I'm going and what I'm doing in Haiti! And yes, I'm officially going to Haiti. My team is working on a church construction project in Les Cayes, a coastal town that has had an influx of displaced people since the earthquake last winter. I don't know a whole lot else about the project itself at this point, except that we are staying at a guest house with bunk rooms, and we'll be the third VIM team at this site. It sounds like we'll be doing some actual building - like pouring concrete and such. Yeah, its ok if you laughed when you pictured me pouring concrete.

People keep asking me if it's safe to go to Haiti right now, what with the cholera outbreak and all of that business...

I have been assured that we can trust the food at the guest house, and in any case VIM put out a good set of guidelines for preventing cholera. As long as I treat my water and don't sing in the shower I should be fine (does anyone else remember the scene in SATC where Charlotte takes a shower in Mexico?) I already have some of the shots I need, so I just need to go to Passport Health for a Tetanus shot and maybe a couple others (waiting on my shot record from my doctor's office). Of course I'll also get prescriptions to prevent Malaria and to treat diarrhea. Delightful. There are teams going to Haiti pretty much constantly so I'm fairly confident that if there were real concerns VIM or the General Board of Global Ministries would call off the teams.

So now I just have to raise the money and get all of my stuff together. So far my Chip-In says that I haven't raised anything, but I think that's because I am still in the process of setting up my Pay Pal account - I actually have $25 so far! I'll need to buy a few things like water treatment tablets, bug repellant, possibly a mosquito net, etc. I was planning on taking my trusty backpack but apparently VIM recommends taking a suitcase and clothes that you intend to leave there. Haven't decided about that yet. I really wish that I had decided to go to Haiti before Richelle took all of Camp's lost and found stuff to Good Will. I could have supplied all of my work clothes and then loaded up with kids' stuff to take down with me (I'm told some of the kids there are running around naked because they don't have clothes). I'm also looking into the state of cell service in Haiti, so that I can maybe blog/update from there. Verizon Wireless's website lists a mobile carrier and voice/messaging rates in Haiti, so it's possible... and cell phones are pretty pervasive in developing countries. We'll see.

I'm leaving for Haiti in three weeks! That's pretty crazy.

I'm Going to Haiti!

2010-11-14T17:28:00.002-05:00

A week ago (Sunday) my pastor mentioned in church that Volunteers in Mission (VIM) teams were going to Haiti on pretty much a weekly basis, and an image that I had seen in the newspaper that morning popped into my head: Haitian children wading through waist-deep water after their already ravaged country was flooded by a tropical storm. And just like that I decided I wanted to go to Haiti with a VIM team. On Tuesday Pastor Amy forwarded me an email about a team from the Baltimore-Washington Conference that had an opening for a trip in December. Less than a month away. Wednesday I got a response from the team leader with the dates (Dec. 9-17), the cost ($1,350 - relatively low for a trip of that type), and a few other details. Friday morning I got the green light from work, and today I talked to the team leader for the first time. What a week.

Haiti has been on my heart since the earthquake almost a year ago, but with school, work, and other travels it never seemed realistic to try to go help out. Sunday morning I was excited about the idea of going, but then the more I thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed that I would find a trip at a time when I could be away from work. I decided to ask about upcoming trips and if I was meant to go, I would find a time that worked. As it happens, December 9-17 is probably the best possible time between now and next November, except that I have to get everything ready for Winter Wonder a week early. It seems as though things are falling into place pretty well, which is encouraging.

I won't pretend that the idea of committing to a mission trip knowing very few details and with over a thousand dollars to raise in the next week or so. It kind of makes me feel a little nauseous, actually. But this is one of those times that the Spirit is prompting and I am trying to listen and follow. On Tuesday I am meeting the team leader, and I'll get more details about the trip itself then. Fortunately, I have a valid passport already, and even have some of the shots I need.

My biggest concern is obviously the fund-raising aspect... and that is where you all come in. I need $750 immediately to cover the cost of my airfare and insurance, and the rest of the money immediately. I've set up a chipin account to raise money, which uses paypal to collect secure donations online. If you would like to donate to my trip fund, I would appreciate any amount you can give. If you can't donate money, I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement. This is an exciting and somewhat nerve-wracking new adventure... thanks for your support!

Emerging Adulthood Conference Resources

2010-11-11T16:51:00.006-05:00

Here are a few additional resources on Emerging Adult ministry.

One of the keynote speakers was Kara Powell, from the Fuller Youth Institute. They are doing research on young adults transitioning from youth groups to college. The FYI website on Sticky Faith has a lot of research and resources. She also does training and resources for Youth Specialties, my favorite source of Youth Ministry training and resources.

The other keynote speaker was Christian Smith who is doing research on the religious lives of a cohort that he has been following for a few years. His book Soul Searching documents his findings on adolescents, and Souls in Transition follows up with them as emerging adults. These are sociological texts, so I've been told that the Soul Searching DVD is a good alternative if you find the book difficult to get through (and it features music from Switchfoot and Third Day!)

The Princeton Theological Seminary Institute for Youth Ministry hosted the Conference on Emerging Adulthood and their website also has some resources.

Reaching Young Adults

2010-11-10T11:12:00.008-05:00

Last week I attended the Princeton Theological Seminary Conference on Emerging Adulthood, where people in ministry gathered to hear research about "emerging adults" and to wrestle with how the church should be in ministry with this (my) generation. All of the presenters did a fantastic job, and I came back with enough material to blog on for months. For today's purposes, though, I'll try to focus on a small part of my initial reflections.

Some Background

First, why aren't many emerging adults (which, generally speaking, refers to roughly ages 18-29) in the church today? A lot of factors are at play here. For one thing, there is a great deal of transience and transition during this phase, and so even if EAs are able to find a local church where they feel at home (which is a challenge in itself), they will probably end up moving away anyway! And of course young adults have grown up steeped in a cultural understanding of religion that says that church is a place to learn to be good, but its not the only place and it might not even be the best place to do so. We have inherited previous generations' skepticism of religion without the cultural expectation that we should at least pretend to buy in. People of faith know that there is more to our faith than morals - that the point is life-giving relationship with God, but this central point is often obscured by the do's and don'ts. This is not a new problem - go take a quick look at most of the controversies in church history.

So why am I still in the church? I am actually a pretty good example of what can happen when the church gets it right. One of the strongest predictors of young adults staying active in their faith (this holds true for other religions too) has to do with relationships. It always comes down to relationships, doesn't it? Parental involvement in the church is key, but in addition if a young person has supportive relationships with adults in the church who aren't their parents, they are far more likely to remain active. It makes sense - the power of grace is lived out in relationships where we are accepted and loved even if we don't live up to whatever spiritual criteria we perceive to be important. It's so simple! But so difficult to do. I certainly had an abundance of wonderful people of faith take part in my life, but I know plenty of my peers who grew up in the church or sporadically attended, without adults making connections with them. So the simple answer for reaching this generation is to go back in time and make sure each young person is nurtured and discipled by people of faith 15 years ago!

Just kidding. But I fear the answer that I've come up with for how to reach the young adults is going to be a tough sell to churches. Many people who study and work in ministry with young adults are finding that EAs want to be mentored (the book Big Questions, Worthy Dreams does a great job of making the case). The challenge is that for this generation authenticity is way more compelling than authority. In other words, many of us will not respond well if you just try to tell us how to live our lives or how to be a Christian or how to be an adult. That's not to say that we don't respect the wisdom of our elders, but that credibility has to be established first. And I would suggest that we also want our potential mentors to understand who we are before they try to make suggestions about who we should become.

The other great challenge is that as I have said, the church as an institution has no inherent authority for many Millenials. Many churches who would like to reach young adults focus their energies on programs that they hope will attract EAs. This is important but perhaps not the most important thing, especially because its hard to know what kinds of programs EAs will be attracted to.

So, what do we do?

I have a three alternative suggestions for us to consider as people of faith. These are just my thoughts after a few days of processing the material... ok some of this is also a result of being an emerging adult in the church who is trying to do ministry with people my own age.

1. Help our congregations to welcome people of all ages, rather than just focusing on age-specific programs. Being a part of intergenerational worship is another predictor for young adult religious involvement. This is one place where mentoring relationships organically arise as people interact with each other! But, we need to do this in ways that meet them in whatever life stage they find themselves, and affirming their part in the community of faith.* There is a small but significant subset of people who naturally drawn to the institution of the church, so we need to make sure they find their niche.

2. Encourage intentional interactions between younger and older individuals within our communities of faith. I know that I have learned a great deal from members of the church who are in different life stages than myself (both older and younger than me!) and hearing their life stories is infinitely meaningful and helpful. This means more than just hiring a person to do youth or young adult ministry (although that helps). One person can not possibly develop deep and meaningful relationships with every young person in the church - it takes a village, as they say!

3. Take that relational ethic outside the church walls. This is the toughest sell (but the most Wesleyan!) because I think that if we simply focus on building relationships to bring people into our churches we are going to fail. There's something about that tactic that can just feel so disingenuous. Instead, what we need is for people of faith to develop relationships with younger adults out in everyday life. I don't mean imposing our influence upon them (that feels creepy) but actively taking an interest in their lives. Being in conversation. Offering support when it feels like a good idea. Many people who are trying to figure out how to be adults are doing so away from their families and communities of origin. Even if they/we may be resistant or suspicious initially, relationships with people outside our age demographic help us to work through who and what we becoming.

Why are we doing this anyway?

The scary part for the Church is that suggestion three is probably the most important but it won't necessarily bring flocks new people into our churches. But as people of faith are we called to preserve our institutions or are we called to make disciples for the transformation of the world? Are we called to bring people into our way of doing things, or are we called to extend the love of God to others? And suggestion three is not just important because it could help us to extend our sphere of influence into the world, but because wonderful and beautiful things are happening in the communities that young people are creating for themselves, and the Church will be renewed and inspired by those stories. We will all be blessed when we create connections between our communities.

The church is being reinvented as we speak - that is what happens at different points in history. This doesn't mean that the traditional mainline institutional church is obsolete, but it means that the Spirit is moving in communities in new ways and we can either buy into that or we can get left out. I believe that the our religious traditions are still relevant, and the Gospel is still a life-giving reality that we need to share. The question is whether we will translate it ways that preach to the people who are not in our churches already.

*Here's an example/tangential rant: I have learned a great deal about marriage and parenting from my friends in church, and someday I hope I will be blessed with a husband and kids with which to apply that learning. But I have heard so many variations on the message that "you will never really understand love until you become a parent." What does that say about the diversity of ways people can experience of God? What does that say to people who will never have kids for one reason or another? I also know young adults who are married and/or parents who have sometimes been treated in church as if they don't know what they are doing, rather than being accepted as fellow parents/adults. I give thanks for the people in my life who share their life experiences, but make a point of affirming what I have to offer as a single 27-year-old woman of faith.

Sanity: Restored

2010-10-31T22:25:00.009-04:00

Anyone who gave my facebook so much as a passing glance this weekend will already know that I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear in DC Saturday. You may have also heard me say that it was the Woodstock of my generation; somewhere between 200,000-400,000 people from all over the country came out for a mix of irony, sincerity, and hilarity. That's the way we like our politics.

Gibb and I arrived at New Carrollton around 11 am and parked at a nearby office building (to which parking had already overflowed). We passed by a stream of people who were already headed back to their cars because the lines were so long at the station. We asked ourselves, how long must a line be to deter people who were excited enough to make signs and t-shirts? We soon discovered that the line actually stretched out of the station, wrapped around the parking garage and then back inside the garage. In the end we were in line for about an hour and fifteen minutes, but it didn't feel terribly long because we were surrounded by friendly, excited people and there were plenty of fun costumes and signs to look at. At one point we marveled as a very helpful guy behind us politely suggested that we create a bend in the line so it was less confusing for people looking for the end. I should mention that the line was only for people who were buying tickets. Had I been carrying my SmartTrip card as I almost always do, we would have zipped right past the line. Epic fail.

I was impressed with how helpful and cheerful the metro employees were. Outside, they went around letting people know that if they had tickets the did not have to wait in line. Inside, they were gently directing traffic, and there were people standing at each machine to guide people who had never used the ticket/pass kiosks before. There was even a table where metro workers were selling round trip passes to the rally for those who had cash. In fact, every metro employee, security person, and police officer we encountered was friendly and helpful. After a short wait on the platform we packed ourselves onto a train - the trains were full from the first stop. Crowded though the cars were, the train was filled with excited, friendly conversation.

This vibe continued as we exited the metro and followed the herd to the National Mall. The sea of people that greeted us was a rally-circus-protest-music festival hybrid full of funny signs and costumes (and the odd person who misguidedly came to push an actual political agenda). We had quickly abandoned all hope of meeting up with our other friends, so we picked a spot on 7th St. where we we could enjoy the crowd and (sort of almost see the video screen). I said earlier that the rally was the Woodstock of my generation but it would be more accurate to say that it was the Woodstock of this decade, because there was no majority age group. There were people of all ages from more babies than I ever imagined I would see at a rally, all the way up to lots and lots of grandparent-aged ralliers. No one acted like anyone else was out of place. People were taking pictures for and of each other, complimenting each others' costumes/signs and chatting. I did get a little annoyed with a few times who were talking over the program or unnecessarily blocking the view, but overall the crowd was way nicer than crowds at the average concert or rally.

Because of the crowds, we also couldn't really see or hear any of the actual program for most of the time, but my parents were recording the show at home, so we just appreciated the crowd experience. Honestly, I am struck by how awesome a time I live in. I was able to experience the crowds and the atmosphere - I can say I was there! and then I could go home and see what I missed that was happening on stage. Plus, even though we weren't able to meet up with our other friends, we were able to share the experience via text and even convey what was happening back to other people via Facebook.

My experience at the rally confirmed the belief that I have been holding onto through this election season - that most people in this country cannot be divided into Glenn Beck or Michael Moore's camps. We are sick of mudslinging and crazy oversimplified arguments and yelling and broad generalizations. We are tired of fear-mongering and apathy alike. Most of the rally was an opportunity for a wide spectrum of people to gather together and hang out with great entertainment, while appreciating that we are like-minded (in the sense that we are cool with the fact that we disagree with each other.) Jon Stewart's closing words will probably be picked apart because he dropped the comedian facade and got (sort of) serious and sincere, but he expressed what most of us at the rally have been thinking with increasing urgency for the last few years: we need to find ways to work together despite our political and ideological differences. And Jon appears to be waking up to the fact that he has accidentally become a rallying point for people who have been yelling at their TV sets for a little sanity and moderation in the public discourse.

So on that note, go vote!

Bay Area Adventures Part II

2010-10-27T02:17:00.009-04:00

Saturday afternoon we headed into San Francisco for sister (+Sergey) adventures. Our parents booked us a night in the Union Square Hilton with reward points, and we were pretty impressed with the view from our tower room on the 38th floor. We settled in, went to H&M and then got ready for a night out in SF. Our first stop was Bourbon and Branch, a speakeasy a few blocks from our hotel. From the outside it is just a nondescript brick building with a sign that reads "Anti-Saloon League." When we knocked on the unmarked wooden door, a hostess peeked out and asked for a password. Once we gave her the password we were ushered inside and seated in a booth in the dimly lit front room. The atmosphere was fantastic, complete with rules banning cell phones, cameras, and ordering Cosmos. The drinks were yummy and not as expensive as they could have been (mine were each $11). The place felt like an authentic temperance-era speak easy right down to the cloth hand-sewn coasters (upon which I fixed and plan to replicate) and the fedora that Sergey was wearing. After that we went out to restaurant where we had wine and good seafood, and then we went back to the hotel to hang out and enjoy the view of the city.

I had planned to visit Glide Memorial UMC (of Pursuit of Happiness fame) Sunday morning, but instead we slept in and Erin and I used our complimentary breakfast vouchers at Starbucks in the lobby (which got us each a grande drink, a pastry, a piece of fruit and a juice. You can't beat that!) Then we left Sergey in the room to sleep and study, and we took a bus up to the Presidio where I was in search of Fort Point and more NPS passport stamps. It was pouring by the time we reached the Golden Gate Bridge visitor's center, and we were without rain jackets or umbrellas. Undeterred (mostly), we walked around until we found the path down to the fort. It was a cold and wet walk, but fortunately it did not take us long, and we laughed most of the way. The joggers passing by seemed to be evenly divided between those who were impressed with us and those who wondered what the heck we were doing. After we narrowly missed being dragged to sea by a giant wave, and being hit by cars dodging said wave, we finally made it the fort, a civil war period fort right under the Golden Gate Bridge. Even though it was still raining we explored, looked at exhibits, took pictures of the architecture and the fog rolling in over the water, and (of course) I got my passport stamped again. After that it was back to Cupertino to dry out and eat soup while watching The Polar Bear King.

I didn't do much with my last day of vacation, but it was pleasant and relaxing nonetheless. I walked to Panera for lunch and then to Asian grocery heaven - a market nearby where I got supplies to make sukiyaki for dinner. Our sukiyaki experiment turned out well, and we had a nice Japanese dinner with a delicious tempranillo wine that was left over from an even at Sunset that day. A perfect way to end my quick stay in California.

Bay Area Adventures Part I

2010-10-27T01:01:00.010-04:00

I occassionally have to remind myself that I am not being graded on how efficient of a tourist I am. My quick trip to California this was week was one such case, but all in all I had a nice taste of San Francisco, and more importantly I got to hang out with my sister and see how she lives.

I flew into SFO Wednesday night, ate some In-N-Out with Erin and Sergey before collapsing into bed. Thursday morning I took a walk to get some coffee, and caught a mid-morning train into San Francisco (only $6 one way!), with a few vague ideas of what I wanted to do. I had of course read my Lonely Planet Encounter Guide and highlighted some things I wanted to do. I started out with lunch at the Ferry Building, a historic building turned yuppie marketplace. At LP's suggestion, I got the recommended sustainable fish taco and a Mexican bottled coke at Mijita, a Mexican place known for using fresh local ingredients. One smallish taco was $5 but it was tasty and surprisingly filling.

Next I wandered up along the piers and decided to climb the Filbert Stairs up to Telegraph Hill, despite the fact that I had unwisely forgotten my inhaler on the East Coast (an inhaler that I got after an asthmatic episode on the side of a mountain in July). The walk was steep but not as bad as I expected, and the view was spectacular from the top of the hill - definitely worth the climb!

After that I wandered back down the hill and on a whim went to see if there were ferry tickets available to go to Alcatraz. There were! Alcatraz ended up being worth the $26 cost of the ferry, especially because of the views of the city and Alcatraz island from the boat. At the Rock itself, I got my NPS passport stamped, and tackled yet another steep walk up to the jail where I did a great audio tour. The tour was a fairly interesting history, peppered liberally with stories of jail breaks and the inmate mutinies. After Alcatraz, I headed back to Cupertino.

Friday morning I walked once again to Peet's Coffee and Tea for my morning coffee and hung out until it was time to go visit Google! Erin picked me up and went went and met my friend Ben, who has been a Googler for four years. We had lunch in one of the man fantastic free food spots and ate on a patio with Google-colored umbrellas while people took free Lindy-dance lessons nearby. Needless to say, Google was awesome. The atmosphere was every bit as college-like and creativity-conducive as I've been led to believe.

After our tour we went to Sunset Magazine where Erin works. I got the tour there too, and at 3pm we headed over to the test kitchen area for a champagne toast celebrating the release of Sunset Magazine's rather substantial cookbook, which was recently featured on NPR and in the New York Times. I'm not sure people in California do any work... from what I saw Friday they eat deliciously healthy food, drink wine, garden, go to fitness classes, etc, etc. Although I suppose those web apps and yoga articles don't materialize out of thin air. Seems like a great place to work though. Later that night I hung out with Ben again and got delicious ramen at a Japanese noodle restaurant, hung around Palo Alto, saw a little bit of Stanford's campus in the dark, and met Ben's fiancee! All in all, I got a good taste of life in the Bay area.

Standing or Falling

2010-10-17T20:32:00.011-04:00

I recently came across a doodle I did in a Bible study that used the book Journey Through the Psalms, which talked about Walter Brueggemann's idea that three "seasons of life" are represented in the Psalms - orientation, disorientation, and new orientation.

For some people, jumping off a cliff with a parachute seems like a fun idea, but I am not a thrill seeker. I generally prefer to keep my feel on solid ground. That is the orientation stage. Solid, stable and safe. I realized that at the time even though I was in a place of orientation, I was fearful about when the next period of disorientation would be. Disorientation is the place where the floor drops out from under you suddenly and your stomach is in your throat. Periods of disorientation are difficult, but they (eventually) bring us to new orientation - the place of joy, and thrills, and new perspective. We usually cannot get to new orientation without disorientation, but disorientation is not fun.

Normally, I can go when the flow when change is happening, and I'll follow God's leading even if I'm nervous, but I generally fight tooth and nail avoid to anything that could land me back in disorientation. I am trying to teach myself to be less resistant to risk, though, because I know that while orientation is comfortable, there is not much growth in that place. Plus, I remind myself that the falling is not always that bad and the parachuting part is thrilling. As I try to figure out where my life is taking me, I remind myself that stepping into mild disorientation is not always the worst thing in the world. It is in places of confusion or uncertainty that we are most able to experience support from God and from those around us.

My last week has been full of wonderful talks with people in my life who support and care for me - over the phone, via text, on instant messager, Facebook, Skype and even face to face. I have tried to support friends who are experiencing disorientation and I have spent time with people who patiently listen and offer feedback as I weigh the pros and cons of my own life decisions. I feel unspeakably blessed that so many people have my back. It is for this reason that I feel a little braver these days when I consider stepping a little closer to the edge. Of course in the real periods of struggle we often lose sight of the next stage of blessings, and it is hard to remember that we are not alone. But I have been reminded lately that when I inevitably find myself plummeting into the unknown again, I will have plenty of hands reaching out to catch me.

And as I imagine possibilities of finding myself in new places and situations, I am off to San Francisco on Wednesday to visit my sister and have West Coast adventures!

Playing Monastic for a Day

2010-09-20T15:07:00.005-04:00

I have been (half) joking for years that I want to join a monastic community, because I am drawn to the structure and rhythm of monastic life. So, I was excited that after three years of always having a schedule conflict (school, vacation, graduation, etc), I was able to go to the Monastic Day Apart at Pecometh. I had been to a day of silence at the National Cathedral a few years before, which had been a lovely experience but also a little intimidating and challenging. This was much more comfortable.

The day started at Rec Hall around 8:30 am with coffee and tea, and gathering in silence. As someone who is definitely not a morning person, it was very nice to wake up slowly with a cup of coffee, music, and prayer (I had the luxury of rolling out of bed and down the hill from the Wesley House at about 8:10... the joys of a short commute!) The atmosphere was very relaxed and casual. Each prayer time throughout the day was a mix of silence, singing, scripture, sharing, and reading prayers together. In other words, it was peaceful but also kept my ever-wandering mind engaged.

Next on the agenda was a time of prayerful work. The monastic life teaches that everything we do - even (especially!) our work - can be a means of experiencing God. So we could choose from a list of various tasks around camp - litter pick-up, window cleaning, weeding, etc - to do for a couple of hours. I was planting vinca around the Admin building, and realized just how useless I am in the garden (should have spent more time helping in the garden like my sister, less time playing in mud puddles). Fortunately, the other ladies knew what they were doing and one in particular was very good at directing me (we were in silence, of course - and she was very good at sticking to the silence thing). At some point during the morning I realized that being good at the work was not the point. So I tried to just be helpful and enjoy getting my hands dirty.

We met back in the outdoor chapel for mid-day prayer, and then had lunch in the Fellowship Hall. Lunch was soup, bread and fruit - simple and satisfying! We ate "prayerfully," so we weren't in strict silence but we didn't have to worry about making small talk. Instead, we listened to readings, and were invited to share reflections from the morning. One of the readings (from Henri Nouwen) said, "in solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness." That made me chuckled after my hour of fumbling around in the garden this morning, since I definitely had said the phrase "I'm useless in the garden" to myself at least a dozen times.

We followed that up with about an hour of silent reflection around camp. I spent my time on the pier, enjoying the sun and the breeze. The hour stretched on and on, but not in a tiresome way. I journaled, prayed, read, and spent time just lying sprawled out in the sun on the warm boards of the pier. The rhythm of the day had calmed my mind so that I was not quite so distracted as I usually am, and I just let my thoughts wander over reflections about the day, and things that I had been pondering over with God. When I think about how different that hour was from most of the hours I spend on the pier during the summer (usually busy, or else trying to relax and finding my time speeding by), I am grateful that I get to experience Camp in all seasons. People always ask if camp is lonely in the off-season, and it is sometimes, but God is still here.

We closed with another time of prayer and communion, and I left feeling peaceful and happy. The next Monastic Day Apart will be held in the spring, and I encourage anyone who is curious to come try it out!

Shenandoah Camping Adventure Part II

2010-09-10T15:42:00.021-04:00

On Thursday of our epic adventure, we work up bright and... well... not so early. But we ate breakfast, packed lunches, and headed out to do some hiking. The weather was perfect - not too hot with a nice breeze, blue skies and lots of sun. We decided to do the Stony Man trail first...a "moderately" challenging trail, about a mile long, which would take us to the summit of Stony Man Mountain. Some of us quickly realized that we were not in quite as good of shape as we thought we were (but on the up side I did not have an asthma attack like I did earlier in the summer when I attempted Stony Man - that day was much hotter with air quality alerts and I didn't have an inhaler). When we reached the cliffs part-way up the trail, we stopped for a breather and (of course) pictures, and after awhile we were ready to tackle the rest. Up at the summit the view was amazing, and we enjoyed a rest, a picnic with breath-taking views, and some moderately safe off-belay rock-climbing. Other hikers, especially those with children, were a little nervous watching our group climbing out along the ridge in front of Stony Man's "face."

By the time we hiked back down to the car we still had time for another trail, and this time we wanted to swim. Gibb and I had been to "the best swimmin' hole in the world" with our trusty guide Andy earlier in the summer, but we couldn't remember where it was. So we picked the least scary looking trail with "falls" in the title - the Dark Hollow Falls Trail. Spooky sounding. And it kicked our butts. To be fair, the trail description was something along the lines of "moderate difficulty/steep return." It was literally like walking down stairs for about a mile along a beautiful series of little falls. Unfortunately, we did not find any real swimming holes along the way. Jordan, determined to swim, faceplanted in a jacuzzi-sized pool at the bottom, and then we hiked back up a little way and some of us jumped into a deep but narrow pool in another place. It was very, very cold. And then we hiked back up a mile of natural stairs. Ouch.

Friday morning, we packed up our campsite and set out for one last hike. Thanks to a very helpful ranger, we managed to find the mysterious swimmin' hole! I'll tell you where it is, if you promise not to tell anyone... If you park at the Whiteoak Canyon parking at the bottom of the hill and then take the Cedar Run Falls Trail, and go past the first place to swim, you eventually come to a majestic swimming hole with a waterfall that you can slide down and rocks to jump off. We found it! And it was everything we hoped for. The water was cold, but refreshing and we had plenty of fun jumping and sliding and swimming and taking pictures. We didn't even mind walking back to the car in wet clothes. It was the perfect end to our camping trip.

Or it would have been the perfect end to our camping trip if Gibb, Phil and I had not found an even better way to bookend our adventure...

As it happens, while we were on our way off the beaten track to find the swimmin' hole, we drove by DuCard Vineyards. We found it on the our Virginia Winery map and decided to part ways with the rest of the group and stop off to taste some more wine. And taste we did. DuCard is nestled in a beautiful spot at the bottom of the mountain, with a pretty patio where guests can enjoy the view and a glass of wine. We were the only people there and the owner made us right at home.

The first wine was another viognier, the DuCard Signature Viognier which we liked more than the one at Jefferson. Next we had the Gibson Hollow Viognier, paired with fresh peaches... delicious. After that we had the Popham Run Bordeaux blend, which was lovely and peppery (Gibb says). And then we had the Virginia Native Norton, which - go figure - is made with Norton grapes which are native to Virginia. This wine was a little hard hitting, but then we had another taste with dark chocolate from chocolate maker and it was really nice. I bought a bottle for my parents; it goes well with steak, dark chocolate and spicy ethnic foods, which are all things my parents like. Finally, we had a Vidal Blanc which was nice but sweeter than I was expecting. Our experience was comfortable and delicious! Plus, later I found this nifty page on their environmental stewardship efforts! A very cool place. We ended our visit by enjoying a glass of the Gibson Hollow Viognier on the patio - with more fresh peaches! That really was the best way to end our trip.

Shenandoah Camping Adventure Part I

2010-09-07T18:35:00.005-04:00

In July, Gibb and I went to Shenandoah National Park to see what our Amazing Race campers would be doing, and we decided that we needed to return for our own camping adventure. Thus, at the end of August, we brought out four other camp people. So, six challenge course facilitators went on a camping trip…

We went out on a Tuesday and got a site at Big Meadows Campground. We wanted one of the tent only sites that are back in the woods a little, but all of the reservable ones were booked weeks before. Some of the sites are first-come first-served and as luck would have it, it was rainy and foggy that day so there was no competition for sites….but of course the drive up the mountain was terrifying because of the fog and mist. We got an excellent spot back in the woods. Because it was so wet at the campsite, we ended up eating dinner at the rest

aurant in the Big Meadows Wayside. I was quite happy with my inexpensive basket of chicken tenders and fries. Back at the campsite we managed to get a fire started and had a nice (if somewhat wet) night around the campfire.

The forecast for Wednesday was iffy we decided to venture down to the Charlottesville area for some history and wine. Much to my surprise, everyone was up for a trip to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson, 3^rd U.S. President (and Gibb’s personal hero.).

This was a rare occasion when I did not do research beforehand, so we were a little surprised at the $22 entry cost. And no student discounts unless you went to UVA! It ended up being worth the price, though. We checked out the fabulous hands on kids’ exhibit, and then went and took a tour of the house where we got a good mixture of Jefferson family history and fascinating inventions/architecture. After that we went on a 45 minute tour about slave life which was informative but a little dry. It was 3 in the afternoon and we were dragging at that point. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon though.

After Monticello we decided to keep with the Jefferson theme, so we went to Jefferson Vineyards, which is of course on our friend Thomas’s original vineyard site. We got there close to closing time, so we did not get to do a tour or learn a whole lot about the site, but the staff were friendly and the $5 tasting was a good intro for our friends who had never tasted before. I tried my first Viognier (a wine which is apparently starting to catch on with Virginia growers), and the Vin Blanc was a hit with everyone.

On the way back to Big Meadows we had an epic GPS-related misadventure so it was late by the time we got back. But, the boys started a fire and we made a fabulous midnight dinner of packet stews. I had never actually made them, despite having given the recipe to several camp programs. We wrapped up butter, ground turkey, cubed potatoes, sliced baby carrots, and some seasoned salt in squares of aluminum foil, and then put them in the fire to cook. Mine was delicious, especially after I melted a Kraft Single into it. Our first full day of camping was long, but full of things I love (history, wine, nature, cheese, etc).

More adventures to follow…

God Was in the Wind

2010-06-19T16:39:00.003-04:00

There once was a man who said such amazing things and did such amazing things, that people began to follow him. But they did not know who he was. So they had to ask him. Once time when they asked him he said, "I am the Light."

Each Thursday night during summer camp, the campers and staff gather for a Galilean service where we sit in the dark luminary-lit outdoor chapel and reflect on how God has spoken to us in the past week. In response we light candles attached to pie plates and float them out on the river (don't worry, we don't let them become litter). Thursday was our Staff Training week Galilean, a special time when we prepare our hearts for a summer of serving campers. I was excited (and nervous) to be preaching again, and especially excited to use the candle-lighting opening that we used throughout confirmation and often use with the youth group (in italics above). A cool breeze was blowing as I stepped in front of the staff and said the opening, but as I went to light the candle I realized that more than a breeze was blowing. It was so windy that I could not keep the Christ candle lit. So I told the staff to use their imaginations, and said a prayer that we would be able to light the candles to put on the water.

We continued with the service and staff shared how they had experienced God through the love, care, welcome and comfort of the staff community that week. God was with me as I preached the sermon. I was uncharacteristically calm as we moved into the candle-lighting part of the service, even when we discovered that not only could we not keep the candles lit, but the wind was blowing the lighter out too. So we made a quick decision to just put the candles out unlit. God only asks that we do the best with what we have, after all. The staff filed by with the candles, amused but reflective, and we put candles out one by one only to have them blown straight back to shore. As I handed my candle to the staff alumni who were there to put the candles on the water for us, I could hear the clatter of pie plates washing against river rocks. I smiled at how unpredictably faithful God is.

When I went back up to close the service I said, "God doesn't always show up the way we expect. We light candles because Christ is the light of the world who came to show us the way, but in the Bible the wind represents the Holy Spirit, who guides us and comforts us and brings God's grace into our lives. Well tonight we don't have the light, but the Holy Spirit is here!" The wind was blowing constantly against our faces, cool and strong but not overwhelming, like God's blessing being poured out on the staff. I ended with our closing that we used to extinguish the candle in confirmation.

There came a time when the Light that was in one time and one place was changed to be in all times, and all places, and even in you.

Lenten Ginger-Miso Tofu Broccoli

2010-02-22T22:53:00.003-05:00

Once again, I am giving up meat for Lent. I first gave up meat for Lent back in 2006, because I had been reading about how much of a toll our meat consumption takes on the earth. For most of history meat was a luxury that families would only have occasionally and if they could afford it. Now, western culture tends to consider meat the main event of any meal, even though much of the world still leaves on staples like rice and beans. Or ramen noodles and mac 'n cheese. Plus, there are ethical issues with the meat industry around the treatment of the animals and the environmental impact of factory farms and food transportation. Giving up meat is a way for me to practice self-denial in a way that honors creation, stands in solidarity with the less privileged in the world, and helps me to think about how much consumption impacts the world. And maybe I'll get around to reading a Michael Pollan book.

During the last few Lents, I have gradually gotten better at eating vegetarian without being totally unhealthy. My first year giving up meat was also my first year living on my own and working full time at church, so when I came home for dinner I was usually tired and too hungry to put much thought into food. I ended up eating a lot of boxed rice and noodles. I've improved since then, and this year I am determined to do even better. Lots of fruits and veggies. And less carbs and cheese. This weekend was a disaster in that area, what with my fact that my friends love to gorge on cheesy carbs when we hang out (and the fact that they left all of the leftovers at my house) - but this is a new week.

Tonight I made a ginger-miso tofu dressing that I found on the Food Network website. I tried a version of it a couple years ago, but this recipe is out of this world. The dressing is salty and tangy and so good that I think I might use it as a regular salad dressing. The silken tofu makes the dressing creamy and adds protein. I stir-fried some broccoli (I love stir-fried broccoli), doused it in dressing, and stirred in some more silken tofu. Delicious.

My next project will be making my own hummus - as soon as I can local some tahini.

NPR's Marketplace Looks at Strip Mining

2010-02-22T22:36:00.004-05:00

Kudos to NPR for covering coal mining issues! Check out this interview with Jeff Biggers from today's Marketplace. Biggers' book Reckoning At Eagle Creek talks about the effects that strip mining had on the hollow where he grew up in Illinois, and addresses the myth of clean coal.

Illuminating Coal

2010-02-19T13:43:00.005-05:00

When I talked to Appalachians in eastern Kentucky last month, coal was a big topic on everyone's mind (the other big topic was prescription drug addiction). As someone who tries to stay up on social and environmental issues, I was taken aback by how little I knew on the subject of the coal industry. But over and over again I was told that coal is the source for over 50% of our nation's energy. Several different people told us, "Every time you switch on a light, someone at the other end mined coal so you could do that. People don't think about that." In eastern Kentucky, the people have a complicated relationship with King Coal, because it is the industry that keeps the region from sinking completely into poverty. Then again, almost all of the money made from the plunder of Appalachian resources like coal and timber has left the region. People there have problems with the way coal is mined, but for many people coal mining is their livelihood.

I had brought to my experience a sort of vague idea of coal as one of the bad sources of energy, but I had never given it much thought. Over the course of my time in Kentucky I learned more than I ever imagined I would about coal. I learned about the beautiful process through which coal developed over periods of time that make the span of human existence seem like a blip. I learned about various forms of coal mining, and the fact that some coal companies are basically playing Jenga with mountains - digging out tunnels closer and closer together until the pillars holding the roof up start to buckle and everyone high-tails it out before the mountain just collapses on itself. I saw a mining operation where the guy running in charge was doing his best to mine responsibly an sustainably. When I asked him what he wanted me to tell the people back home he said, "We're not all bad guys. We're doing the best we can, and maybe coal mining isn't the best thing, but its what we have until we can figure out something else."

And I learned about mountain top removal mining. Rather than going through the cost and effort of underground mining, they blow the top off of a mountain, dig the coal out, and push the debris into the valleys. This way of mining is cheaper and takes far fewer people than other forms of mining. Some of the negative impacts on the community are destruction of property, pollution of the water, scarring of the landscape, job loss, and disruption of the natural water flow. We drove through a town that doesn't have running water part of the year because the blasts nearby broke the water table. And then there's the issue of sludge ponds, which I also talked about in a previous post. The most frustrating thing I learned is that for $1-2 dollars more per ton, coal could be mined and cleaned in ways that created more jobs, better preserved the mountains themselves, and did not leave behind sludge. According to the US EIA, the current price of coal per ton in Central Appalachia is around $59.

Of course there's no such thing as clean coal. I am certainly an advocate of developing renewable energy sources - after all, once coal is gone, its gone. But given the fact that coal still accounts for half of our energy, and is a main industry in Appalachian America, we can't get rid of it just yet. Unfortunately the problem has been completely oversimplified in the public and largely overlooked in the public debate. The debate is framed in a way that forces you to choose "Drill, baby, drill" or "Coal is Evil" when really a better option would be to try to mine coal in a way that does the least harm and creates the most benefit for the communities, while trying to come up with other sources of energy for the country and new industries for the coal mining communities.

And then there's the fact that most Americans don't even see this complex problem playing out. We really don't think about coal when we turn our lights on and off (or leave our computers on all the time). The coal industry is allowed to exploit Appalachian communities because the majority of the country doesn't even know that this is happening. Fortunately, some of these issues are gaining a little more visibility. MTR has been popping up in the news and even on the Colbert Report recently. There was an article in the Washington Post yesterday about the complicated politics in Appalachian communities that touched on coal-related issues.

My hope is that as more people become aware of the complexity of the coal problem, we can stand in solidarity with the people in Appalachian communities as our country struggles to create jobs so that communities can thrive. We can factor the experiences of the Appalachian people in our conversation about how to use and provide energy. When I asked people in Kentucky how we can stand in solidarity with them - no matter what their opinions about the coal industry were - the answer was overwhelmingly consistent. Use less energy. Turn off the lights. Unplug your computer. Think about how much electricity you're using, because people are working hard to power your life.

There are plenty of ways to stay engaged with this issue - writing letters to representatives, finding out about organizations like Mountain Justice and watching films from organizations like AppalShop. But if you never do any of those things, I pray that you will think about the people in coal mining communities every time you turn on the lights.

Additional Links:

NPR on MTR

"Coal Comfort" on the Colbert Report

Fabulous short movie on MTR:

Why I'm Happy

2010-02-06T12:12:00.006-05:00

I just read an article in which Lori Gottlieb, a woman in her 40's, argues that her expectations in her 20's and 30's were unrealistically high and she should have just married one of those guys who were good enough. I took issue with this article for a number of reasons. For one thing, people have been telling me for 10 years that my standards were too high, when really I'm just not interested in dating for the sake of dating. I'd like to get married someday but not enough to make the search a priority in my life. Plus, I'm sick of articles that assume single women are all living the Sex and the City life. I'm not dumping dozens of guys for dumb reasons! And some of the things that are important to me (would he be a good father? could we run a household together?) are the things she says we should "settle for."

At one point, she says that most of her single friends complain that they never see their spouses, so her conclusion is that we may as well just pick a guy who will help around the house, because we won't see him much anyway. If you ask me, that's more depressing than being single for the rest of my life! I know that marriage is full of stretches where it is difficult to stay connected or even spend time together, but why start out expecting that to be the norm? And what happens when you're kids are grown?

For the record, while life-long singleness is not my first choice, I really believe that I can be content if it works out that way. Now I'm sure Ms. Gottlieb would say, "You say that at 26, but wait until you're 46." And sure, what do I know? I'm in the age bracket where she was apparently throwing away scores of suitable men. But my relationship status has been set to single for the last 5 1/2 years. And when I say that I mean haven't been on a date, haven't kissed anyone, single single single. I know. Shock. But guess what... I'm still alive. (It really hasn't been that bad!) And in that time I have figured a few things out about how to be content and live the life I want. Would I like to be in a relationship at some point in the foreseeable future? Yes please. But in the meantime, I have (almost) gotten a master's degree, traveled to Africa and Europe and Asia (And Canada, Alaska and Hawaii), tried my hand at youth ministry, developed a wonderful network of friends, learned to knit, spent vacations with my extended family, discerned a clear idea of where God is leading me in life, and found a role that I love within the Pecometh community.

One of the things that annoys me about the whole idea that we should focus on getting married is this: Even if a woman does get married, she stands a good chance of being divorced or widowed. So instead, why not encourage single people to develop better support networks so that whether they are married or single, they are emotionally fulfilled? When I get home late at night and climb into bed alone, I know that I can call Pam and she'll probably understand my problems better than any guy anyway. I have great friends, lots of family nearby, and a fabulously supportive church family. I have been particularly blessed in this area, but I also intentionally started looking to my friends and family to fill some of the voids in my life.

I say all of this partly because of the many conversations I've had with my single friends about the fact that some of our friends are getting married and having kids, and I know that there are a million voices emphasizing the importance, desirability and strategy of finding a spouse. I wanted to be one more voice urging my friends to love their lives - married or not. It's not always easy, and sometimes being single is lonely. But marriage is lonely sometimes too. And I can think of several women I know who are in their 40's and 50's, and are single and content. Some of them have even have kids. There would be challenges certainly, but I could think of worse ways to live!

But anyway, with Valentine's Day looming nearer, would I like to get a non-platonic valentine for once? Well I certainly wouldn't mind it. But either way I have a fantastic date planned with two of my fabulous single friends, who I haven't seen in awhile. We are three independent, opinionated, slightly traditional but moderately feminist, intelligent, spiritual, fun-loving, occasionally artsy-fartsy, sometimes irreverent, often sarcastic but generally kind women who would make excellent wives and mothers if I do say so myself (and we are available in Catholic, Protestant and Jewish varieties). Why wouldn't men be clambering to marry us? I certainly haven't given up hope for us, and I am also very proud of the fact that we are pursuing worthy goals and making space in our lives for new opportunities and blessings (you are, M and B!). It may be a little selfish, and I may regret it someday, but right now I love the way my life is unfolding so much that I just can't be bothered to go running in all directions looking for a husband.

Pictures!

2010-01-25T10:39:00.002-05:00

If you would like to see pictures of my experience, you can look at my albums at the following links:

Part I

Part II

I posted a lot of pictures.... enjoy!

Over the Mountain

2010-01-17T21:40:00.001-05:00

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may never stop being afraid of everything. For example, I am terrified of riding on curvy mountain roads. When we went to CA for Erin's graduation we drove up a mountain and I closed my eyes most of the time. Thanks for the ride but I'd rather walk up. Add to this fear my car accident-related skiddishness and the fact that the roads have been icy/snowy/wet and we're riding in a small bus.... I'm a total sissy. I love the scenery and the beauty of the mountains but oh my goodness on every turn I pull a Jodi (which is to say I flinch, flail my arms a little and inhale loudly).

The other day we drive up Pine Mountain, and I spent the while time listening to a soothing playlist on my iPod (Jimmy, Regina, Deathcab, Glee). It was totally worth it though because the view was amazing (as you can see in the picture). It was warming up and we all piled out of the bus to enjoy and take pictures. The downside to the view is that the MTR sites that I talked about in my last note are really visible. In the picture those high flat parts aren't meadows; they used to be peaks but were blown up for strip mines.

It is good we stopped that day because we had to go around the mountain today since it was raining. The roads were ok down here but at the top it could be sleeting or snowing. The road was still winding but the mountains were beautiful with mist rising out of the forests. We made it safely to our next home away from home and I'm gratified to say that I am totally not the only one who gets nervous on the roads.

These blogs are woefully incomplete. I'm leaving out so many important people and experiences. But, these blogs are coming to you via text and my thumbs are not up to the challenge of boiling down these amazing people to a few paragraphs. Just know for now that I am meeting a lot of amazing people who are filled with love, compassion and hospitality, and who are totally passionate about serving other people.

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

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Thawing Out

2010-01-13T23:08:00.001-05:00

This is a quilt hanging in the place we are staying - one of many. It is a tradition in quilting that every quilt has to have at least one mistake as a way of acknowledging that only God is perfect.

I am tired but I want to post a quick update. I think time moves slower in Appalachia... sort of like Easton. I feel like we've been here for weeks, but in a good way. I'm exhausted at the end of every day, but I think that's because I'm still waking up in the middle of the night a lot. Yep its been three weeks of bad sleep..its getting old.

On the upside we had sunshine today at it was above freezing. We went an awesome coffee shop, a Presbyterian church, a great cafe with bookshop selling local crafts, and a community arts org that preserved Appalachian culture by teaching locals about the arts. More on that later hopefully, but in the meantime Courtney Moore you need to go to AppalShop.org and die because you'll be in preserving local culture heaven. The people who started it got grants to so similar things in developing countries.

I am learning a lot about issues related to coal mining and I can't wait to come home and research it so I can do a thorough description on my blog. In the meantime go to Google Images and search "mountain top removal mines" and be horrified. The cheapest and easiest way for coal companies to get to coal is by just blowing the top off the mountain and filling in valleys with the debris. Deep mining and auger mining would create more jobs without devastating the landscape but it costs a little more.

Then search "sludge reservoir disaster" and be disgusted. Coal companies wash coal in water and leave the waste in ponds all over Appalachia. It leaches into the lands and water - and worse - occasionally floods communities with something resembling lava-tar. There is waste-free way to clean coal but it costs $1 more per ton. The spill in Kentucky in 2000 was 30 - YES - 30 times bigger than the Exxon Valdez oil spill.

I plan to write a lot more later on what I am learning about these issues. At least for right now the region needs coal to survive, but the systems that are supposed to protect the people are not doing their jobs.

That said there is a lot of awesome stuff happening here. Each person I meet is doing good work in such different and creative ways. They are speaking up for the people but in ways that are gentle and compassionate.

And as a side note, my accent is gradually relaxing into a definite drawl. When I'm around Brits, Aussies and South Africans it is more like my inflection gets yanked around in odd ways. In the south its just like I fall into the accent. I have a feeling I am going to end up with a more pronounced Eastern Shore accent as a result.

Hazardous Worship

2010-01-11T22:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend worship with a Disciples of Christ congregation in Hazard, Kentucky. They were meeting in the living room of the parsonage for reasons related to the cold. I was wondering how awkward it would be to worship with 10 strangers in a living room but it was absolutely wonderful. Their pastor Joan greeted is warmly and has tea and cookies ready. A good start.

We had learned beforehand that Joan is from California and came here as an intern and then an interim pastor before deciding to stay. Being from a small town myself and knowing how Appalachians are often uncomfortable with "come-heres" I was expecting there to be something of a square peg round hole situation. California and Appalachia have fairly distinct cultures after all. I was happy to see that Joan was thrilled (if a little surprised) to be living in Hazard. And the congregants were just overflowing with gratitude for her presence! We sat in a tight circle and she led the group in worship that struck me as very emergent with a California flavor and the group was right there with her. I later learned that their worship is generally a traditional 1950's style Disciples service. It is quite a testament to the power of relationship that Joan and her congregation are able to share
their worship styles with each other and everyone is comfortable and happy. No doubt being in an informal setting helped too.

The message was about the Magi and their twists and turns and detours. Joan talked about how our paths are generally full of twists and turns - like car accidents and ending up in Kentucky. I could definitely relate having just had a couple of weeks full of unexpectedness and plan changes. In that comfortable circle Joan's words and calm presence reminded me that God is present with me on my crazy winding path and that there is a rhyme and reason to things even when I can't see it.

My trip has been full of surprises so far - like the fact that the congregation was not as elderly as we were expecting. Today we visited a state of the art hospital, a thrift shop, another Disciples church, the number one custom motor sports shop in the country, and applebees. Tomorrow its a coal mine and a rural medical clinic.

Knit Together

2010-01-09T22:46:00.001-05:00

We are required to journal each day so I'm going to pass some of my thoughts along...

Today my group arrived at the Hindman Settlement School and spent a lot of time in the cottage where we are staying. In the midst of out chatting an impromptu knitting circle has sprung up. We spent hours today in the cottage. A couple girls are learning to knit, some of us are working in projects and others have been watching or reading as we chat.

I have been thinking about how knitting is about connection for me. There's the visual and tactile reality of twisting yarn into something beautiful and functional, but there's also the fact that as I knit this scarf for my cousin I am thinking about her and all of the things we are talking about doing together.

The practice of knitting is also very social though. Newer knitters need the help of more experienced hands and in the meantime conversation happens. This afternoon we shared knowledge about knitting but we also shared stories, wisdom and hopes for our future lives in ministry.

More than that I also feel connected to the greater tradition of women who create and nurture and provide for others. It reminds me that although this is a hobby to me, people throughout history and in the world today work hard with their hands to provide things they cannot buy. Knitting reminds me too that many hands have been involved in the creation of everything I wear.

Yarn is addictive. What starts with K1P1 often leads to spinning one's own wool into yarn. Step by step I am being led into a closer connection with the process that starts with sheep grazing in a field and ends with garments that we wear.

It strikes me as so appropriate that we have formed a knitting circle on this trip. Knitting illustrates things we are here to witness - community, labor, working to provide, natural resources, crafts that are beautiful and functional. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that we are going to learn a lot about Appalachian crafts - I can't wait to learn more about how this bundle of connections is lived out in Appalachian art.

The Kindness of Strangers

2010-01-07T22:51:00.001-05:00

I'm not going to lie: I was really tired and sore today which is why I am super grateful that some of the other students in my program took it upon themselves to look out for me today. I got a call this morning from Chad, a student at Lexington Theological Seminary, who told me that his wife was going to pick me up at the airport and bring me to Berea. I hadn't wanted to ask for someone to come get me because I didn't want to come late and be disruptive but apparently the other students didn't need to be asked.

I went through my travels in a bit of a daze but fortunately I love flying and I've done enough of it that I fall easily into a travel routine. When I arrived at LEX I got my bags super quickly because there were literally like 20 people on the flight. When I got outside Chad's wife Cara picked me up and told me that there was a change of plans. It was snowing steadily and the roads were bad so I was staying at their house.

So here I am on the LTS campus. Chad is coming up to pick me up in the morning and I'll join the rest of my group (finally). Besides the fact that people are showing me great hospitality it is actually a blessing that I flew instead of driving down - I would have been driving through the snow late at night. In other words if I hadn't wrecked my car yesterday in Earleville there's a good chance I would have done so in Kentucky tonight of would have at least been very stressed and tired on the drive. I still don't like remembering the hanging upside down in the car but there is definitely a silver lining here.

So I will attempt to update when I can... I am blogging by email on my Krakenberry so it all depends on having cell reception. Possibly people do not need to be updated on my exact whereabouts but this is also goingg to serve as part of my sharing my experience with other, one requirement of my immersion.

Annual Nostalgia

2010-01-05T12:52:00.002-05:00

One of the great things about blogs is that in January I don't have to go searching through journals to find last years' resolutions, because I always post them. So, of course I went back to look at last years resolutions. They were:

1) Write more. (Fail)

2) Develop better spiritual habits. (Fail)

3) Manage my money better. (Semi-fail).

I'm not doing resolutions this year, unless I come up with something really good.

Anyway, while I was looking at my blog, I realized that I have been doing my blogspot page for 4 1/2 years which is kind of a long time. Looking back at my earliest posts, they are really Jesusy, and I realized that is because in 2005 I had blogger for spiritual stuff and xanga for randomness. So of course, I went to the xanga which I started in 2003. That seems like so long ago (because it is). I love going back and reading old blogs, journals, letters, etc, and I have to say, my 19-year-old self is pretty amusing.

A lot of it is pretty boring... random tidbits about my friends and things that I wanted to do. But I am humbled to realize that I was once guilty of those cutesy "I miss my boyfriend and he's so cute" posts. I'm sorry guys.

I also talked a lot about indie bands and the local Christian rock scene. I used the word "rad" at least once. Man I was such a hip ironically nerdy scene kid. This was of course before emo meant "suicidal" and when guys had to buy their skinny jeans in the girls' section.

Interestingly, I just read a post about struggling with leadership where I was lamenting the fact that my friends never respect my authority. This is actually something I was talking about the other day with a leadership team person... I'm really lucky to have had lots of leadership experiences and I think I've come a long way.

It was also nice reading comments from friends who I was close to at the time, and remembered how they influenced my faith, encouraged and respected me, dreamed with me, and talked about books and music. I also remember the blog wars from college, and how Bryna and I would have long blog back and forth discussions usually about existential crisis-related issues. Memories...

Long story short, its funny to see where I was 6 or 7 years ago, and I'm comforted that even if my 2009 resolutions fell short, I've grown up a lot in some important ways.

Sad News and Blessings

2010-01-03T20:12:00.003-05:00

I can be flexible. I was exclaiming this to my non-planner friends yesterday, as I was preparing to spend four days wandering across North Carolina, without any set plans besides a couple National Park Service sites I wanted to visit, and hopes of meeting up with some cousins. But minutes after I was bragging about my adventurousness, I received an email that one of the elderly saints of my church family was in the hospital, and this morning my dad texted me to tell me that she passed away. The news was sad, and Marilyn is one of a growing number of people who I will miss every time I worship at Trinity, but that the same time I know that she is glad to be with her husband Bud.

So I had to decide whether to change my course or not. I am supposed to be in Kentucky for my immersion program on Wednesday, and there was little chance that I could find out when the services are and no chance of clearing a late arrival to my program until tomorrow. I had been planning on doing some leisurely site-seeing on Roanoke Island and then enjoying restful solitude in a hotel that evening, but the idea of sitting tight and waiting until tomorrow to decide things made me antsy just thinking about it, so instead I decided to just drive home. I'd rather be doing something than waiting. The up side was that I got to have Courtney ride with me, and we had an enjoyable ride home and I even bought rain boots after my two-month boot quest. Much better than being impatient all alone at a Hampton Inn.

Of course now that I'm home there's a chance I'll have to turn around and drive to Kentucky without going to the funeral. It might be strange but I love funerals. As sad as it is when people in my life die, the ritual of funerals and the mixture of grief and celebration is really comforting. When it comes down to it, I am a routine person. I like that I live in a community that still has old-fashioned connections. When Erin was home for Thanksgiving, we went and visited Miss Marilyn and the Prigels (another couple from our church) and afterwards we were talking about how fabulous it is that we live in a community where everyone knows everyone and where we can spend a morning talking to wonderful elderly people who tell stories and share the news about everyone's kids and grandkids. I (usually) like going to restaurants in town and seeing 10 people I know. I love that at a funeral in our church I will probably cry, laugh and be uplifted, and afterwards I will eat amazing food cooked my familiar faces, and catch up with people who I've known for years. It's a celebration of life, grace, and community.

I'm not sure what the point of this meandering blog is, except that funerals remind me of how blessed I am by my community. I learn so much from saints like Marilyn McKee whose example have shown me what it is to live a faithful life and a graceful end of life. If John Wesley is right about Christian Perfection, then I know that I have seen a few examples in my community. I love to travel and experience new things and see new places, but I think my sister was probably right when she told me that I am a wholesome country girl. It sounds really boring, but I am starting to realize how much I love small-town life.

Lost Philosophers (I can't wait for Season 6!)

2009-12-06T14:21:00.003-05:00

*Nerd alert*

Like many Lost fans, I love the cultural references but I don't get all of them. This means that I will probably spend the rest of my life learning things that remind me of Lost. For example, last year, I stumbled across the fact that there was a 19th Century philosopher named Jeremy Bentham. "Well crap," I thought. "If I had known this before, I wouldn't have spent all of Season 4 wondering who was in the coffin under the name Jeremy Bentham." Who else is named directly after an English philospher? John Locke, that's who.

So this semester I did a reading on Utilitarianism, and it talked a lot about Jeremy Bentham. This got me thinking about Locke's transformation on the show. He starts out as John Locke, and is pretty idealistic. The philosopher JL strongly influenced the discussion about liberty during the founding of the US, and the Locke on Lost is definitely a "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" kind of guy. Also, the early flashbacks about Locke show how his experiences shaped him into the person who he is (see Locke's tabula rasa).

As I was reading the Utilitarianism stuff, I was struck by how much the Lost writers weave into the show. When John returns as Jeremy Bentham, in Season 5 he has become more utilitarian. Now, I wouldn't say he is a perfect example of a utilitarian, but he certainly becomes a "sacrifice for the good of the many" kind of guy. Of course in the case of the show, the good of the many is defined by the Island/Jacob, and Locke is utilitarian in his doing of what he is told. More significantly, Ben Linus is very utilitarian (he let his daughter die rather than surrender his people to the hostiles), and Ben ends up sacrificing Locke for the good of the people on the Island. The parallels continue.

So here's the part that really got me. The philosopher Jeremy Bentham did a really creepy thing. He donated his body to science. At his request, his body was dissected in an anatomy lecture, and then his bones and preserved head were made into basically a dummy of himself, which is on display for all to see (although his real head is actually stored somewhere else now partly because it was preserved badly and partly because of repeated student pranks in which it was stolen). Anyway, remember all of those shots of creepy John Locke's dead preserved body? I do. It was creepy, just like the real Jeremy Bentham's preserved dead body. Oh Lost writers... you're so good.

Breaking News

2009-11-30T00:05:00.004-05:00

Newark, DE. May 1996. Following a stunning act of coordination, Justin Callahan of Newark, Delaware was named star galloper of the third grade class. Callahan, 8 years old, is also known for his work organizing his sock drawer and meticulously lining up his shoes. In the future, he hopes to reclaim his title, and is considering entering the skipping contest as well.

Knitting Away My Control Issues

2009-11-18T20:57:00.007-05:00

I finally finished another knitting project! Nothing gets me motivated like a deadline. In this case, I was knitting a blanket for Baby Kyle, and while I intended to finish it earlier... like when he was born, or when Sara and Aron brought Kyle to camp... I didn't. But I did finish it in time for his baptism so that's good.

I used my favorite baby blanket pattern - the Big Bad Baby Blanket from the S'nB book. The blanket is usually supposed to be a 3x3 square (great because babies don't grow out of it too fast), but unfortunately along with the fact that I was knitting in a race against time to finish the last foot, I also ran out of yarn. I thought I had two more skeins at home, but when I returned home at 10 pm Saturday I discovered that I did not have more. Oops.

The perfectionist in me thought I should just postpone my blanket-giving yet again, but I reminded myself that I'm trying to be less anal about my projects. Not everything has to be symmetrical. I should use the yarn I have in creative ways rather than buying more yarn than I need so that things are completely uniform. So, used what I had. I stopped knitting about when I ran out of yarn, and it was actually about the dimensions of a normal rectangular baby blanket. The pattern was asymmetrical, but it actually looked kind of cool. I bound of

f the end which all green (or was it all blue, I can't remember) partly because I had more of that left, and partly for effect. Overall I liked the effect and was proud of myself for not being completely irked that it isn't completely uniform. Of course it did occur to me that Sara, being somewhat of a perfectionist like myself might try to fold it along the break in the pattern,

and then realize how off-center it is and be disoriented. But that's probably silly. Or is it?

Anyway, now that I'm done this blanket, I have a project to complete for the newest Shitama, and then I'm moving on to a new blanket that will be totally asymmetrical and fun, for a certain baby to be whose parents love things that are quirky and asymmetrical.

Fear and Loathing on the Metro

2009-10-27T01:15:00.003-04:00

Tonight I was riding back from class on the metro with a classmate, when we noticed a couple get on the metro, walk to the seat across the aisle from us, and then turn around and walk away, because there was a cell phone and a cardboard box sitting unattended on the seat. On the box was a picture of some sort of electronic device with a screen, and there was a strap or cord of some sort hanging out of it. It was basically exactly the kind of sketchy thing you are supposed to be concerned about on the metro. Now I been riding the metro for years, undaunted by terrorist threats, sketchy/crazy/obnoxious/belligerent passengers and crazy crashes, but as I looked around the car I had that I NEED TO GET OFF THIS TRAIN feeling.

The box and phone looked so sketchy and deliberately placed that I was reasonably certain it was not actually a threat (one would expect a bomb would not actually look so bomb-like), but nonetheless it was exactly the kind of thing you are supposed to report. As we hesitantly discussed what we should do, more people around the train noticed the objects and started looking awkwardly around at each other. No one wanted to speak up, but all of these seasoned metro commuters seemed to be silently asking, "Should we be freaked out?" "Should we do something?" My classmate and I ended up getting off the train and going to tell Metro employees, who made a phone call but did not seem overly concerned. Having done our good citizen deed for the day, we hopped on another train 2 minutes later.

When we got on the shuttle from the metro station to campus, I was squeezed in next to two girls from American University, one of whom said loudly to the other, "Did you know if you want an abortion it costs $400 and Planned Parenthood is the best place to go?" She proceeded to talk about how annoyed she was that she didn't get any homework done because her roommate is pregnant and was on the phone talking about it all afternoon. For most of the ride back to campus she talked about how annoying roommate was stupid and deserved an unexpected pregnancy. Of course I remember some of the conversations my friends and I had on public transportation in college, but this was just seemed so completely inappropriate (not to mention unabashedly judgmental and mean... and ok both annoying and a little entertaining).

How weird it is that we are willing to have loud private conversations in front of strangers, but not to initiate conversation in a situation when common sense and the transportation authority say we should? It is totally OK to come off as mean, but not to seem too concerned. Sort of like we're still in middle school.

Drying Herbs and Future Scone-Plans

2009-10-21T23:27:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I took a break from Wesley's sermons to dry some herbs from my mom's garden. It was beautifully sunny and warm, quite a relief after the cold and rain all weekend. I don't really use herbs much in my cooking, but that's partly because I never feel like buying herbs and spices so I usually avoid recipes that involve them. But I thought that since my mom has an abundance of herbs I would try drying some before the first frost.

I went with the freeze-dry method. I of course got directions on the internet. I cut basil, thyme, sage and rosemary, washed them, dried them, and put them in little ziplock baggies. They are currently living in the freezer. I have to wait "several weeks" to see how successful my experiment was. But since there is so much more in the garden I'm going to dry a bunch more and make some pesto on Friday.

My next quasi-domestic endeavor is going to be to try out a recipe I found for the amazingly melt-in-your-mouthy pumpkin scones I tried at Starbucks yesterday. My attempt at the vanilla scones was fairly successful last Christmas. I think I'm going to make both when we go to the beach for Thanksgiving. Both kinds of scones are delicious but having seen the nutritional information I can only justify making them at the holidays (and I almost never get them at Starbucks, although the petite vanilla scones are a good compromise).

I can’t wait to live in my cabin and cook with my home-grown herbs and bake scones. Another possible culinary endeavor: Ina Garten’s rosemary chicken salad served with cheddar-dill scones and herbed butter. Mmm….

God hates Cecil County? (and obviously gays and Obama...)

2009-10-12T12:38:00.007-04:00

I know its been months since I blogged, but please indulge me while I rant a little. I learned from the Cecil Whig this morning that Cecil College is doing a 10th Anniversary performance of The Laramie Project tonight, and Westboro Baptist Church is sending protesters. Lucky us.

I won't waste much time trying to describe them, since you can look them up yourself on wikipedia, or their official church website (godhatesfags.com).*

Their mission is based on a message of God's hate. How is that the Gospel? Gospel means "Good News" and "God hates you" is not good news to anyone. I serve a God of love. Remember that guy who came to earth and invited in the people that the Pharisees were shunning as sinners? The one who said "let he who is without sin throw the first stone"? The one that shared meals with prostitutes? The one who was hard on the religious and compassionate toward those who the religious people were picking on.... what was that guy's name? Oh right..... JESUS. That guy, remember him?

This group makes me physically ill. I respect the opinion of people who believe that homosexuality is a sin, but I cannot respect people who distort God's message of love and forgiveness and use it to abuse, marginalize and terrorize people who are already marginalized and discriminated against in our culture. And having Will and Grace on TV does not make up for all the ways our culture makes it difficult for LGBT community. This group is picketing 14 different events today alone, in New York, Nebraska, Oklahoma and Maryland. This is how they are using their resources. This is how they are carrying God's message to the world.

The most frustrating thing is that they will keep doing this, and nothing can stop them. If I cancel my plans tonight and made a "God Loves Gays" sign and go up there with my Bible to explain to the WBC people that God is a God of Love and forgiveness, it would not make the slightest bit of difference. The freedoms of religion and speech that they would take away from people of other religions guarantee that they are allowed to keep on spouting their awful agenda of hate.

What I can do is try to live out God's love in ways that I think God is calling me to. And that means that I need to risk standing in support of the LGBT community more often. It feels risky to be too open about the fact that I believe God loves the gay community just as they are, no ifs ands or buts. That shouldn't be a risky sentence to write or say when serving a God of Love, but as someone who is ministry (and has not yet gone through the ordination process), that sentence could really bite me in the butt. Not to mention the inevitable arguments that people will try to start with me. It is a risk, but my love for the gay people in my life drives me to be more bold. I believe with ever fiber of my faith that God loves each person just as she or he is, and that the pain inflicted on the gay community by the church grieves God's heart. I just want people to know that. My voice can't drown out the hatred, but at least its one more voice trying to shout against it.

*I'm not kidding that's their actual website. It is as theologically rich and insightful as you would imagine. Much of their attention is fixed on the murder of Matthew Shepherd, the subject of The Laramie Project. The group lifts up this anti-gay hate crime and pickets performances of the play with signs declaring God's hatred for homosexuals. This was also the lovely group that picketed military funerals in Maryland a couple years ago, because they blame gays (especially those in the military) for terrorism. BTW they also have a documentary showing that Obama is the Anti-Christ. Yep.

Special Needs Week 2009

2009-07-04T01:04:00.001-04:00

Special Needs Week is over, and it may have been the best I've seen. Things went really smoothly and Justin only had to do 41 loads of laundry (although there were rogue laundry washers as well). I'm always amazed at how well the staff does with our campers with special needs. Consider the fact that our counselors are roughly between the ages of 16 and 26 and many of them are new to being counselors in the first place. We put these people in situations that they never imagined themselves doing and they do an amazing job. This job isn't for everyone but many people find that they can deal with a lot more than they thought. You find yourself cleaning up poop and its not all that tragic.

What makes all the difference is the fact that people with special needs are just about the best people you could meet. They just overflow with love. As challenging as special needs camp can be, it is totally worth it to spend the week with these campers. They hug us, tell us they like us, show us what friendship looks like, and they teach us about faith. They remember us years later and are still excited to see us.

I love special needs week because it brings out the best in the staff and the campers. I can't really describe it without being cheesy. Its just awesome.

Like A Boss

2009-06-28T11:51:00.001-04:00

So I have been at Camp for 6 weeks already ( 2 weeks so I didn't have to commute, Leadership Week, Staff Training, weeks 1 & 2 of campers). So far I am not quite sick of camp. Not even a camper hitting me in the face with a molten marshmallow (which fell to the ground and consequently got on my backpack and flip flop) can depress my love of camp.

Its been an interesting month and a half though. It feels so weird to be in charge. Like legitimately in charge. At first it felt strangely natural and I was uncannily calm. I can only attribute that to the remarkable grace of God and the fact that I have a lot of confidence in the leadership team. In the middle of week 1, however, the feelings of confidence started to fade. The honeymoon was over.

Its not that things are terrible, but people are not perfect and it is my job to help them improve. Plus it seems like the weather and even sometimes the campers are conspiring against us. So I spent a lot of time praying this weekend because I know God wants me to lead this team a certain way.

I remembered this weekend that as leadership we are here to encourage and keep people accountable. We need to do this in a positive way and that starts with me. This is such a new experience for me but so far I think it is going ok. The leadership team is full of competent people so I feel backed up and its only now becoming difficult to be in charge of my friends.

I continually build myself up by making up my own camp appropriate words to "Like A Boss" from the SNL Digital Short.

Jumpin on Splashdown! Like a boss
Writin' NPVs like a boss (notice of policy violations)
Like a boss!
Like a boss!

I'm pretty important in Ubud

2009-04-26T08:38:00.000-04:00

Erin and her Fullbright friends use the phrase "loss of perspective" to cover the range of behavioral changes one experiences in a country where we are millionaires, being "the American" in town makes you a celebrity, the rest of the world seems far away, and vacation fashion is the norm. I experienced a bit of this in Ubud, and it is going to make the rest of the world a little difficult.

Our series of travel events en route to Ubud included two bus rides, a late night stroll down the side of a highway, a stop at an all-night food place, a brief sleep at Erin's friend Nasha's house, one upset stomach (Erin's), a delayed flight, and a taxi ride. Nonetheless we ended up in Ubud mid-afternoon on Thursday. Our plan was to schlep from hotel to hotel until we found something satisfactory. I was expecting something very simple with cold water. But the first place we went to was beautiful, inexpensive, and offered us a choice of a room with air con and a fabulous view on the third floor, or no air but a porch on the ground floor. We chose the ground floor. We had nice beds with good pillows and ikat bedspreads. There was even hot water! And breakfast included. Since our little porch and entrance to our room was right next to the lobby entrance it was very convenient. So
guess how much it cost per night. Seriously. Tell me your guess and I'll tell you the answer later.

And now I must tell you about our Ketut. He works at the hotel and is the most enthusiastic and helpful person in the world. He brought us our breakfast, he procured our tickets for cultural events and he even took us to holy sites all around Ubud by ojek (motorbike) for a mere $10 each. Whenever we were on our porch Ketut was there seeing if we needed anything. Ketut spoke pretty good English and he wanted to practice as much as possible with us. I seriously considered inviting him to work at camp.

So we had better than expected accommodation and a very helpful concierge / tour guide / chauffeur / new friend. We started out logically enough. I have read that a backpacker can easily get by on $15 a day in Indonesia. Well I totally believe that but I spent about three times that on average. Of course we ate good but not top end food, we saw two traditional Balinese performances, visited several temples and holy sites, went to the sacred monkey forest and we did a fair bit of shopping. Oh the shopping.

I am nowhere near to being a shopaholic normally. I have low shopping stamina. I like to research before I buy. But when you take someone who has been trying to save money for months and plop them down in a land where the US dollar is worth 10,000 rupiah something dangerous happens. Even worse if this person is a person who loves fabric and the country is know for beautiful textiles.

Basically, I lost perspective. I had a few things I definitely wanted, and there were some gifts I was going to get. But then I realized how cheap the sarongs were. I fell in love with the batik (hand painted cloth) and ikat (intricately woven often hand dyed cloth). I had gotten out as much as I wanted to spend when we arrived in Ubud but by Saturday morning I was selling my leftover Australian currency to support my textile habit. Later that day I sold some USD. Erin was not as bad as me but we both went a little overboard. We realized, as I contemplated fitting the full bed sized ikat into my backpack, that we were out of control. But when the woman offered to sell us each a full sized totally awesome frog motif ikat for $7 each what were we supposed to do?!

Overall I didn't really go over budget and my stuff all fit into my bag. And if I get married someday my ikat will ensure that I have plenty of children (frogs are a sign of fertility Erin tells me).

Loss of perspective aside we had a really great trip. It is kind of funny that Erin and I had our first grown up vacation together like our aunts Lauri and Leslie do. This morning we bid Ketut a reluctant farewell, and later we had a very characteristically Maryland Shitama goodbye.

Now I am in Bangkok again on my way to London. I am going from being a cool American with awesome buying power to being a stupid American who can't afford anything.

When in Rome (Poo as the Romans Poo)

2009-04-26T04:47:00.001-04:00

I need to talk a little about Indonesian bathrooms. Most bathrooms here have a little hose with a squirt nozzle right next to the toilet so you can hose yourself and everything else down when you are done. What not all bathrooms have is toilet paper. Sometimes it is available out by the sinks, sometimes it is in the stall, and sometimes it is not there at all. This is where the hose comes in. This is also why the right hand is for eating, greeting, etc and the left is for doing other things. There is also plenty of water and usually soap for washing hands. The system seems to work pretty well.

Now about the toilets. Most of the toilets I used were western style, but I did encounter a few squat toilets. Of course I am quite comfortable going to the bathroom in the wild, but when faced with the task of squatting over a hole on slippery tile and actually being expected to aim I was a little intimidated. Of course it wasn't a big deal, and the aiming thing is probably half the reason they provide the hoses. It is the little cultural adventures that make travel fun.

The best part of the Indonesian bathroom is the mandi. I'm not sure if I'm spelling that right. Anyway, a mandi is a little bathtub sort of thing that you fill up with water. But you NEVER get IN the mandi. You scoop water out of it and pour it over yourself. There is always a drain in the bathroom floor, so you just stand there and dump water on the floor. It is very satisfying for anyone who ever wanted to splash water all over the bathroom as a little kid. Most places don't have hot water. That's ok though because it is so hot that the cold water is quite refreshing.

The hotel where stayed in Ubud had a waterfall/fish pond thing right outside our room. The sound of flowing water was so loud that the first night I had a dream that I was relaxing in an overflowing mandi with flowers floating around me. It was delightful. Then I woke up and realized I needed to go to the bathroom.

Al-Mawaddah Pesantren

2009-04-23T10:24:00.001-04:00

*I don't have service right now so these posts will be sent to my blog whenever I can send messages.

My first morning there, I awoke when I heard the first call to prayer at 4 am. Well, that may be overstating it. I gradually became aware of the melody that was being sung over the loud speaker. A few seconds more and I realized what it was : the signal for students and teachers to come to the Mosque and pray. Almost all of the residents at the pesantren are Muslim and so 5 times a day they change into a different sarong and a special white jilbab (head covering) and flock to the Mosque. We did not go of course and so I immediately fell back to sleep.

I woke up later and we laid around for awhile watching Al Jazeera, which is basically this part of the world's CNN. After awhile we went to find the laundry lady and went to eat lunch. The school cook gave us a whole bunch of food, which we piled into a bowl of rice and ate with spoons. Indonesians usually eat with spoons or their hands. I have noticed they don't really use napkins but wash their hands right after eating. By the way I love Indonesian food!

That afternoon we walked around the town and out into the rice padis. The countryside around Coper is absolutely beautiful... My camera was utterly useless in trying to capture it. When we were walking back, the call to prayer was echoing out into the towns and fields. Because there are two pesantrens and at least one other Mosque around, sometimes multiple calls overlap, all following the same melody and words in a sort of round. Hearing the call makes me want to go too and sing and pray along.

That evening I sat on the steps across from the Mosque and watched as the mass of girls flowed through campus and inside. Muslim prayer is nearly always led by men, but because this is an all-girls school the girls do the call and a female teacher acts as Imam. It is an amazing thing to watch teenage girls, covered from head to toe, singing out and reciting the call to prayer over the sound system.

The prayer that follows is very physical. This is one of the reasons modesty is required in the Mosque. The people go through different postures to express different things to Allah. The postures include standing, kneeling, and prostrating on the floor. Each person brings their own prayer mat and the whole congregation goes through these motions many times, reciting prayers at certain points. When I asked, the girls told me it made them feel peaceful and unstressed to go to prayer.

These girls are really cool. That night some of the little ones came to visit Erin's room. They took off their jilbabs and watched Beauty and the Beast with us. They also Loved Belay! One girl wrapped him up in my pashmina and jilbabed him and fed him shampoo. Adorable!

The next day I went with Erin to her classes. She teaches English to 15 and 16 year olds. In each class I had to introduce myself and answer questions. Then, Erin read aloud two letters that my youth groupers wrote in response to letters written by Erin's classes. The girls were very excited to hear back from American kids. Both of our groups are getting an amazing lesson about humanity - we are basically all the same at heart. At the same time we don't all fit the stereotypes for our religions and culture.

In one class I asked students how they felt about wearing the jilbab. They told me it made them feel beautiful and modest, and that it made men treat them with respect. I only wore the Princess-Jasmine-in-the-market version of the jilbab, like Erin does, but I can see the downside. It is really hot. It gets on your nerves sometimes. You take it off in private and have to remember to put it back on. Then again, I like the idea of having a tangible way to remind yourself and others that you are a precious child of God and a believer.

All of these practices are appealing to me in some ways because faith needs to be interactive and engage the senses and feelings. Of course they can easily become empty obligations, but when the person can choose to participate (or choose to come willingly to the obligation) they have the power to bring us into deeper relationship with God.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Denpasar...

2009-04-22T02:33:00.000-04:00

What I didn’t tell you in Thailand was that I had been trying to get in touch with Erin for a few days to see when she would get in to Bali, and hadn’t heard from her. So when I landed in Thailand I had a voicemail from her asking me to call. I called and found out that her flight back from Flores had been cancelled and she was doing her best to get back but I might have to be alone in Bali on Sunday. That didn’t seem like that big of a deal because Bali is touristy and full of hotels and taxis. I am a brave independent traveler, remember?

So I didn’t stress too much about it. I managed to finally get about 2 hours of sleep on the floor near the check-in area for Air Asia. I was so tired by that point that I slept soundly until the desk opened at 4 am. I checked in, went to the bathroom sans giant backpack, flew through security and got onto the plane with very little hassle. I called just before we took off, and Erin said that she was on standby but she would leave me a voicemail telling me where I should go and what the plan was.

When I landed in Bali I didn’t have any voicemails. And I discovered that although I appeared to have service, I couldn’t make any calls. My phone was also dying. After customs I found myself exiting not into a lobby area, but to the outside. So I calmly walked to an ATM and got money out, and then went to a food stand where I found an outlet, bought a water, and sat down to figure out what to do. When I sat down I looked at the amount of money I had gotten out, and did some quick math. It appeared to me that I had accidentally taken over a thousand dollars out of my account. But that couldn’t be right? Right? When my phone was charged it still wouldn’t make calls. This was the point where I started to panic a little. My phone had given me a message that I needed an additional code to make calls in Indonesia, so I started asking people but they had no idea what I was talking about. The security guys at the airport told me I needed to take a taxi to Denpasar and go to the phone office. So I was stuck in Bali, could not contact Erin, and had possibly taken way too much money out of my account. I could go stay in a hotel but then how would I tell Erin where I was? But I did not cry, nor did I start going around yelling “Is anyone here American or Australian?”

I went to a wartel (a place where you can pay to use the phone), and the girl was very helpful in suggesting how I could dial on my phone but nothing worked. She said I could use the phone for 8,000 Rupiah a minute. I didn’t think this was much, but given my 2 hours of sleep the night before and my mild panic I was in no state to do math. I took a quick walk around looking for other options, and finally came back to the wartel and agreed to use the phone there. I was pretty sure 8,000 Rupiah was less than a dollar, so that was fine. I called Erin and she picked up! She asked where I was and I said I was in Bali. She said, “I’m in Bali too! Where ARE you? I’ve been looking for you for an hour!” Oh thank God. I told her I was in a wartel near the taxis and then proceeded to ramble. I was so relieved I almost forgot to pay for my phone call, and dragged my stuff out to a bench. Within 5 minutes Erin and her friend Andrea had found me. They also assured me that I had taken out around $100 from the ATM. Stupid zeros and decimals always get me.

Anyway, we took a taxi to Kuta where we checked in a hotel and spend the rest of the afternoon at Kuta Beach, relaxing and catching up. We had sushi for dinner, walked around looking at shops (I bought some amazing Indonesian pants that are my new favorite thing), and finished the night off with a drink on the beach. Then I slept in a bed!

In the morning Andrea left really early to fly back to her school. Erin and I had breakfast at the hotel, got amazing massages, and then flew to Surabaya. From Surabaya we took a bus to Ponorago, and then a taxi to the school, where we were going to collapse into bed. Instead, when we got there we found out that there was a bonfire happening! So we went to that and then collapsed into bed around 10 pm.

IMG00009-20090419-0048.jpg

2009-04-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

The Bangkok airport is really nice. I feel totally safe being here overnight because it is well-lit and busy. Unfortunately these are also the reasons I can't sleep. I found a spot at the end of the third floor that was away from the shops and by a less used bathroom. This was clearly the place for people trying to sleep and several people were already stretched out on benches and the floor.

I grabbed a bench (the metal benches made of individual seats that you find at airports) and settled down with my book (after a meal of pork noodles and dumplings for 205 bahts). I read for a long time, eventually stretching out. Finally I tried to sleep but just could not fall asleep. Maybe its the lights and people. I tried listening to an audio book and covering my eyes but no good. The bench, surprisingly, was more friendly on my back than the row of seats I slept across on my flight to Sydney. I should have passed out either way considering that I woke up at 5:30 am Sydney time and it is now 4 am there. And I only slept 4 hours last night and about 20 minutes on the plane.

Finally, I gave in. I gathered my stuff together and went back to Starbucks where I ordered coffee and grabbed a cushy booth seat. I wrapped my pashmina around myself and reflected that I am world traveler Megan Shitama, who traipses around Asia and stays up all night at Starbucks. Then, depending on your perspective, I either raised or lowered my cool factor by pulling out my silver Sharpie gel pen and finishing the personalized word search that Gibb made for me.

Incidentally, if you love word searches (or search-words as one of my special needs campers called them) I have a hint for making them extra challenging. Stay up for 23 hours or so and drink caffeine and sit under fluorescent lights until your eyes can barely focus on anything. It really ups the difficulty level!

From Australia to Thailand

2009-04-18T08:20:00.001-04:00

Well the wedding was just about perfect. The weather was amazing. The wedding was on the side of a mountain. Jackie looked perfect and the bridesmaids were pretty awesome too. Jackie and Pat were so happy. I was torn between tears and smiling my face off but I mostly grinned and bounced a little. I may provide a fuller analysis if I'm inspired later.

It was great to meet Jackie's friends and family and hang out with the Donnellys. I also got to see Sarah Thorne (McPherson) and meet her new husband Jon. The three of us danced a good deal even when there were only 2 or 3 other dancers (or 0). But when there is a open bar and a decent DJ I feel it is just good sense to take advantage (responsibly of course!).

It is sad to leave not knowing when i'll see my Aussie (and US-Aussie) friends again but I know I'll see them.

But now for Thailand. I had the best airline meal of my life and that includes when I got my dad's upgrade to 1st class on Continental. I had stir fried Thai noodles with prawns and tofu, fruit salad and Australian cookies (anzu biscuits or something like that). I also watched the Duchess on my personal tv screen and since I fell asleep I was able to start it over and fast forward to where I dozed off! And I drank wine out of an adorable little glass the size of a shot glass. A flight attendant walked around and just kept filling it back up.

Anyway now I'm at the Bangkok airport (no signs of rioting) and it is around 7 pm. I can't check in for my flight to Bali until 3 or 4 am though so I am hanging out until then. The kink in my plan is my backpack. I managed to make it under the 20 kg limit even though I forgot to weigh it (18.8 kg - perfect!) but now I have to lug this 19 kilos around because I couldn't precheck it and I can't find storage (or staff members who understand the question). This makes moving around (not to mention going to the bathroom) difficult since I can't leave it unattended.

I did laps on 3 floors trying to figure out what to do with it and finally decided that I was stuck with it. I was also thirsty. So I ducked into a food stand and discovered that they sold alcohol there. At this point a cold lemon flavored Baccardi drink seemed like a really good plan but they only took cash. Stupid. What kind of airport vendor only takes cash??? So I schlepped back over to the ATM where I only had the vaguest idea of what the exchange rate was (based on the price of my ticket to Bali). In any case the second lowest withdrawal amount is usually safe, so I got out 1000 Thai bahts. I figured out that this in the neighborhood of $25USD but imagine how anxious one feels in taking out 1000 of anything without quite being sure of the exchange rate. I was right next to a Starbucks so I caved in to what is familiar and got a venti iced tea lemonade for 140 bahts.

I think my next step is to decide whether to have noodles or meat pie for dinner and then settle in with The Devil Wears Prada, which Jackie gave me when she was packing up her room.

Easter in Australia

2009-04-12T06:29:00.002-04:00

Easter in Australia is an interesting thing. Most people get off work Thursday-Monday, so there's a lot of holiday weekend stuff happening, like the Easter Show, which as far as I can tell is something like a county fair but with Easter Bunnies and lots of chocolate.

I got in Thursday of Easter Weekend. I had breakfast at 4 am AU time and was through security by about 7:30 am. Just past the gate I was greeted by Jackie, and moments later met with several blurry-eyed members of the Donnelly family. After a few minutes I headed off with Jackie and Pat. Before lunch we had stopped for pastries, Jackie and Pat signed their lease, and we stopped at Jackie's house where I unloaded my stuff and we picked up Pat's parents. We went to a pie shop for lunch, where I ate a steak and mushroom pie! I have been dreaming of pies since I left South Africa in 2006. After that we headed up to Illawarra Fly, a tree-top walk near Jackie's house. It was awesome and scary.

On Friday we went up to meet the rest of Pat's family. From there we went to have fish and chips on the beach, and then we went to Symbio, a zoo. They had some interactive time where I got to PET A KOALA and hold a snake. The koalas are so cute, and the snake felt weird... all muscly. My favorite, though, was the common marmoset. Those were so cute. I wanted to smuggle one out in my pocket. I also went to the petting zoo type area where we could feed the animals, and fed kangaroos. That was really cool too.

Saturday, we had a girls' day in Sydney. Jackie and her sister Michelle took me in to the city to see some of the touristy things. We went first to Chinatown for lunch, and had awesome Thai food at a food court where there were so many Asian food options I was momentarily paralyzed. After that we went to Darling Harbour, which is sort of like the Baltimore Inner Harbor, but Australian. It was the 21st birthday of Darling Harbour, so there was a bunch of cool carnival stuff going on. We went into a circus tent and saw an act with juggling and accordion/violin accompaniment. We also walked across the Pyrmouth Bridge and saw the middle swivel open to let a non-existent boat go by. After that we took a Matilda Ferry to Circular Quay, where we saw the Harbor Bridge and Sydney Opera House. After that we were tired, so we went to a shop where I bought a bunch of Australia gifts for people, and then we went to a surf shop where I bought awesome Australia Haviannas that have a small Australia on each one, and AU beaches printed on the soles. From there we went to a Rugby League game, which was an interesting experience.

Today we went to Jackie's church and hung out at the house while Jackie packed her room. It was interesting because their church doesn't celebrate Easter. The service was nice; they meet in a community center and sang lots of hymns. It was weird though because the sermon would have fit in very well with Lent, but since it came on Easter sort of felt like having an extra day of class at the end of the semester. I found myself thinking "everyone is in church right now at home" at times, and really missing all of the trumpets and lilies and "Christ is Risen - He is Risen Indeed!" In fact, when Pat walked into the living room this morning I said "Christ is Risen!" Hoping that he would say "He is Risen Indeed!" but he didn't know to say that. Fortunately, a few minutes ago Aunt Leslie commented "He is risen indeed" on my "Christ is Risen" facebook status. On the up side, I had my first hot cross bun, which is apparently an Easter thing. I just know it as the nursery song. I then wikipediaed hot cross buns out of curiosity. Very interesting. Anyway, Christ is Risen. And fortunately, Easter is a season of 50 days and Pastor Amy is diligent about celebrating that long. So it will still be Easter when I get home.

Flight Diary

2009-04-08T17:58:00.001-04:00

Over the last 24 hours I've seen some amusing things...

A college-aged guy reading a special collector's edition Twilight (the one that comes in a pretty box.

I talked to Pam and confessed my irrational fear that I hadn't arranged for Jackie to pick me up. Jackie called me about a half an hour later to confirm that she was picking me up.

I ate amazing ramen at a Japanese restaurant and was able to accurately guess the meaning of the name. Tomokazu means good friend or something similar.

They switched the departure gate for my Sydney flight three times while I waited - without making announcements.

I am sitting beside a guy who has the shaggy/pretty look of a model for a surfing company. He slept from take-off until 12 hours into our 14 hour flight and has not used the bathroom. I suspect he is wearing a diaper.

Across the aisle from me there is a grandfatherly Australian with all four middle seats to himself. About 8 hours into the flight he switched with me so I could lie down for awhile. He said I looked like I was about to die from needing sleep. Bless him.

Anyway, it just hit me that I am on vacation. I have been thinking of this as a trip - with lots to accomplish, but now it occurs to me that I should attempt some measure of relaxation. I'll work on that.

We are making our final descent. I'll post this when we land in Sydney!

Off to Oz

2009-04-06T18:25:00.003-04:00

*Apparently Oz is an acceptable abbreviation for Australia.

View Larger Map

So, I leave tomorrow for my whirlwind world tour. I'm going around the world in 28 days. I head first to Sydney, for wedding festivities and a little sight-seeing. I promise to take pictures at Outback Steakhouse. I'll be celebrating Easter there (Sydney, not Outback specifically)... of all the times to be away from church, that's probably the saddest, but Christ is risen everywhere.

After that I am going to do a lot of flying hither and thither to visit Erin in Indonesia. I fly from Sydney to Bangkok, spend the night there, and then fly to Denpasar, Bali in Indonesia. Erin is meeting me at there, and we are flying to Surabaya, Java so to visit her school. Then we are going back to Bali to stay there for a few days.

From there I fly back to Bangkok and switch planes there and in Abu Dhabi on my way to London. In England I have a long list of things I want to see (probably too many to possibly fit into one week). And I meet Megan there for the Megan Squared Invasion! Then, its home to the US, and straight back to work because Pecometh's busy season will be upon us.

Dear Michael Phelps...

2009-02-04T11:40:00.004-05:00

I just watched the cast of The View argue over what should happen to Michael Phelps (which was pretty entertaining). Of course everyone is weighing in on this, including Ashton Kutcher, who in his infinite wisdom said ""God forbid he hit a bong. Go ask your 20-year-old kid what they did last weekend." I would agree that it does suck that because he is a celebrity he is being held to a higher standard. Then again, he's being paid millions of dollars for his trouble. My life is more or less defined by the fact that working with youth makes me a role model, and I get paid hundreds of dollars for it. (Hmm... could I get some endorsements?)

What I would like to say to Michael is that there is no such thing as private life anymore. Literally everything we do could end up on the internet. Can you imagine when this generation starts running for political office? All of those myspace pictures, facebook albums from college parties, etc? You can take them down, but once you've put them out there you can't be sure someone else doesn't still have them. My friends and I are pretty careful about what pictures we are tagged in in Facebook, but that means we have to rely upon the people we are around to comply with our requests. So the necessary result for me is that I don't ever want to be in a situation that I wouldn't want to be revealed to the world. This is what I'm trying to impress upon teenagers is that we all need to be so careful about what we do and who we do it with. The super-plugged-in world we live in adds a new incentive for acting with integrity. "Do the right thing whether people will find out or not"... because people will probably find out.

I generally object more to stupidity than immorality. Because people make mistakes. We all have vices and we all have things we don't want people to find out about. I'm a fan of working toward integrity and making good decisions, but I know we aren't all there. So I am not endorsing hypocracy, but seriously people! If you have something to lose (reputation, endorsements, a place on a sports team, a job or admission into college) by making certain decisions think long and hard about what you are doing, and if you still want to do it at least make sure there are no cameras out!

New Years Resolutions.... Suck

2009-01-08T01:01:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is the time when I review my past year's resolutions and make new ones for this year. And upon looking at my resolutions I realized that I might be setting goals too high (or maybe I'm just a slacker).

Goal 1 was Be Present. Yeah, that was vague. But in the past year I quit a job and waited for awhile to finish that job, and then waited to be sure of a new job. I am more aware of where my attention is when I'm doing things, and trying to be more in tune with where my stress is coming from.

Goal 2 was Visit At Least Three New Cities. I visited Harrisburg, Frostburg, Charleston (SC), and Vero Beach FL. I guess I did ok on that one, although I really didn't experience Frostburg.

Goal 3 was to finish at least three of my projects that I had started at that point. I finished my mom's socks and the wine charms I was making, but so far I have not finished my own socks, my scrapbooks or my cousins' Christmas stockings. I did, however, make 2 blankets and a scarf, and started a new blanket. I'm currently working on a sweater and a hat (and technically the sock that is almost done).

As for goals for this year... I'm not sure... I really like setting goals but right now I'm just kind of working on stuff. Here are some things I'm working on:

-Going on a month-long trip to Australia, Indonesia and England.
-Being part of and attending weddings (3 in the first half of the year).
-Becoming a grown-up. I'm not sure what that means. It may involve wearing t-shirts less. And I definitely can't wait for my new planner to come from Franklin Covey.
-Getting back into an exercise routine. I haven't been walking much lately, and I want to start doing yoga again. There's a yoga studio in Middletown that is comparatively inexpensive.
-Starting a career in outdoor ministry.

Ok here are some resolutions. I just need to suck it up (I can always change them).

1) Write more. I have some literary aspirations, and I really need to get back in the practice of writing. This includes blogging.

2) Form better spiritual habits. I have been really bad about regularly praying, reading the Bible, meditating, etc. This also includes walking and yoga.

3) Be more careful about how I manage my money. Once the big trip is over I really need to start saving more money. I am trying to save a little in the meantime too.

Knitting Update

2009-01-05T05:16:00.005-05:00

I finally finished my mom's socks over Thanksgiving. I knit them on double-pointed needles instead of circular this time, which was an enjoyable experience. Using the circulars is less scary in that there is less fear of losing a needle (and its easier to store), but it is easier to follow conventional sock patterns with double-pointed. It also feels more authentic and looks more impressive with double-pointed. I used an Encore worsted-weight yarn that is really pretty, and machine washable.

While I was working on the socks, I was also doing squares for the blanket I made my brother for Christmas. He mentioned months ago that he liked the blanket the Chapel Hill Knitters made for the Camp Quilt Auction, and asked if I would make him one. So I did. I used the same kind of yarn as for the socks, but obviously in different colors. This one is considerably bigger. The squares were 9x11 inches, but I didn't measure it once it was put together and blocked. The nice thing about knitted blankets is that they are super stretchy, which is good since my brother is pretty tall.

I was particularly happy with the "U" square I made. The first colors I chose for the quilt were the Miami orange and green, and I used leftover yarn for the logo square. I made the pattern for the Miami U Logo myself on graphing paper, and then made up the gym-sock inspired stripes as I went. It is also a pocket for keeping remotes or cell phones or whatever. When I finished knitting the square I picked up stitches along the bottom and just kept knitting until the back of the pocket was done; then I sewed up the sides. I have to admit that I'm amazed at how well it turned out, with the exception of the stitches at the bottom of the U being a little funky.

Now I'm working on a sweater - my most ambitious project to date. I have this great superfine undyed Alpaca that I got for fairly cheap at the yarn shop. The back is almost finished and so far it looks ok. I also still have a baby blanket half-done, but there's not really a rush on that one.

Pearl Harbor Day

2008-12-07T02:29:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading an editorial about the lesson that Pearl Harbor Day should teach us. The author's conclusion was that we can never forget that there is the possibility we will be attacked; he also made a point of mentioning the need for strong intelligence (presumably in the sense that uses spies as well as the one that uses gray matter).

While I agree that national security is extremely important, I can't help but remember another lesson that learning about Pearl Harbor taught me. Even a country that was founded on principles of justice and equality is capable of throwing civil rights out the window in a crisis. Being Japanese-American, learning about Pearl Harbor was always awkward for me (not just because boys in my class said rude things to me on those days), but because I knew that in the months that followed somewhere around 110,000 Japanese-Americans were placed in internment camps. The tragedy of having their country attacked was topped with the insult of being told that it they didn't count as Americans anyway.

To be fair, my grandparents have never said a bitter word about this. But I grew up with an uneasy feeling that if it could happen so recently, what's to stop the government from doing something like that again? In the days after the 9/11 Attacks I mourned along with the rest of the country, but I also prayed that the rights of Arab-Americans would not be taken away. There have certainly been plenty of stories of hate crimes and wrongful imprisonment of Muslims and Arab-Americans since then. I am still sickened by the knowledge that inaccurate accusations that Barack Obama is an Arab and a Muslim were seen by many as legitimate concerns. As if we don't have millions of honest Arab and Muslim citizens in this country.

Interestingly enough, today it will be announced that Eric Shinseki will be the secretary of veteran affairs. On the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, a Hawaiian born Japanese-American will be named as part of the Obama administration. I read today that he was the first Asian-American to be named a four-star general, which just shows you how slow our country has been to integrate even Asian-Americans into top ranks (and the Asians are generally considered "almost white" anyway). It seems fitting, although perhaps a little awkward.

I am hopeful, because we keep moving inch by inch toward racial and cultural equality, but this journey requires just as much constant vigilance as the endeavor to keep our country safe. And the two goals need not be mutally exclusive.

Visions of Wool

2008-11-17T13:42:00.005-05:00

Now that I temporarily unemployed, I have fallen in love with knitting again. To me, knitting is a little bit like magic. When you look closely, it seems crazy - waving around a couple of sticks and tangling them up with some string and all of the sudden fabric appears. It feels a little bit like conjuring garments out of thin air (although in reality it is somewhat more labor-intensive and expensive than that). I never cease to be fascinated to see that I can actually create decent looking projects this way!

I recently finished my scarf in Bo Manor colors, which I began when Kieron made the varsity football team (he is now a junior in college). At least I have one more football season to wear it at Kellan's games. I currently have several projects on needles - socks for my mom, a baby blanket, and a knitted quilt. The socks should be done Thanksgiving week, the quilt by Christmas, and the blankie when I get to it. I was in my LYS yesterday with Jen, Rich and Bryna, and we were talking BBBBs (Big Bad Baby Blankets). Jen just finished one for a child who is now 2 and is starting another for someone who isn't even pregnant yet. The owner of the store told us that a lot of people our age just always have baby projects going, to be prepared for the next pregnant friend or relative. There's something so satisfying about making things, and I absolutely love making gifts for people. And what's better than knitting for babies.

Now that I'm becoming a fairly proficient knitter, I'm thinking about branching out to more difficult projects. Most of the sweaters I own are at least three years old so they are starting to wear out, and I'm thinking about trying to make one when I get past the Christmas knitting rush. I would need to start simple so I'm thinking about trying a beginners pattern with some chunky superwash merino wool. In addition to knitting I made a needle case for Megan G's birthday, and it got me thinking about taking up sewing again. I have often thought about making some of my own clothes, that is a sort of scary endeavor. Where will I find time for this crafting lifestyle? That I haven't figured out yet, but at least knitting travels well and can be picked up whenever you have a spare minute.

We Made History!!! (And I cried...)

2008-11-05T00:41:00.002-05:00

I can hardly believe it... it hasn't really sunk in yet. We are going to have a president who is bi-racial. Who is African-American. Who is young(ish) and idealistic and hopeful. Who claims that we are not red states and blue states but the United States. Two years ago I was hoping for this, but afraid that it wouldn't happen.

My thoughts are all jumbled right now, but I want to jot down a few reflections. I was more excited today than when I first voted in an election. Tonight, I watched the coverage hopefully and at 11 pm John Stewart (I was flipping between the Indecision '08 and BBC coverage) called the election and announced that Barack Obama was the next President of the United States. Seconds later the phone rang and it was my sister calling from Indonesia to celebrate and see if our mom was crying. A little later my aunt called to celebrate too.

As we watched the victory speech, I was struck by the enormity of this event. Grant Park in Chicago was an unbelievable sea of people, all so excited and moved. Jesse Jackson was in tears. Oprah was crammed into the crowd crying. When have you ever seen Oprah crammed into a crowd like a normal person? This is a movement where Oprah is just part of the crowd and the people are the heart of what is happening. I was in tears. We have taken a huge step toward racial justice. He has already inspired me to resist some of the cynicism that is the norm in American politics and erodes hope away. Our next president has the potential to face the world in a way that will win back the trust and respect of the world.

Yes we can.

Maryland Slots Referendum

2008-11-02T21:18:00.003-05:00

I've been promising that I'd put up some resources about the slots referendum, so here they finally are. The Advocacy Resource Team from the Pen-Del Conference of the UMC prepared this message :

On November 4th, Marylanders will vote on Question 2, a referendum to amend the stated constitution to allow slot machine gambling. If it is passed, 15,000 slot machines are slated for venues in Anne Arundel County, Cecil County, Worcester County, Rocky Gap State Park in Allegheny County, and Baltimore City.

The United Methodist Church opposes gambling, stating:

"Gambling, as a means of acquiring material gain by chance and at the neighbor's expense, is a menace to personal character and social morality... Organized and commercial gambling is a threat to business, breeds crime and poverty, and is destructive to the interests of good government... It serves as a 'regressive tax' on those with lower income. In summary, gambling is bad economics gambling is bad public policy; and gambling does not improve the quality of life." (2004 Book of Resolutions, "Gambling" #203).

At this year's Annual Conference in June, the Peninsula-Delaware Conference approved a resolution opposing this referendum.

I also found an interesting editorial arguing against slots, and also an article that talks about estimates that both sides are making about potential revenue from slots. I know that this is a very complex issue, but I am convinced that slots are not a good solution to our economic problems in this state. Slots tend to increase crime, poverty and addiction in the surrounding community; this could likely end up costing tax payers enough to make the whole thing not worth it. Plus, the effects of problem gambling would be devastating to some families. Even if people want to make the argument that the financial and emotional consequences are the fault of the problem gamblers, should children and spouses have to shoulder the burden?

This is not a quick fix -- all of the financial estimates are just that, estimates. If this amendment passes, we will still have to wait for zoning fights (for all people say slots are good for communities, it seems no one really wants them in their backyard), construction, and start-up before the money starts coming in for schools and such. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do think there has to be a better way to fund our schools.

A professional nerd?

2008-10-18T14:52:00.003-04:00

Ok so I'm going to try not to edit this note and just present it as it pours out of my head. I wrote that last blog because sometimes I just can't help writing about the books I read, and the response that I got to it made me think...

One of the other things that I wanted to add to that note (but I was trying to keep it from being forever long) was that those characters all have special gifts that they try to put to good use, without seeing the redemptive value of those gifts. I wanted to add a paragraph talking about using your gifts as a way of seeking God and both opening up to and responding to grace. I am convinced that even the most random gifts and talents are avenues to God/good/etc.

So, Megan Shitama. (This is where I start lecturing myself). You are a person who loves to write essays about books you read for fun. You love both theology and reading books in Middle English. You read and routinely reference scholarly writings in which Lewis and Tolkien talk about the power of fantasy in faith formation. You fantasize about getting a Masters in Classical Lit. And while you tell everyone and their mom that you should do what you love and explore the talents that give you joy, it hasn't occurred to you that this might be, like, something you should pursue as part of your ministry?

Ok, back to first person. So I have been wandering in the desert of "what do I really want to do with my academic and professional life" and maybe this is something I should seriously consider. My calling is still to working with young people, but looking deeper into using stories to do that might be a legitimate option. Hmm...

Do Vampires Go To Heaven?*

2008-10-16T14:10:00.005-04:00

I have decided that if vampires existed, they would be able to go to heaven if they were killed. The Bible says that nothing can separate us from God's love. Most vampires don't choose to be vampires, and lots of them hate the fact that they are vampires, so why wouldn't grace extend to them? Even if a person chose to become a vampire, wouldn't that just be a dramatic illustration of the fact that even when you repent, you still have to deal with the consequences of your actions? Yes, I think vampires could be saved. If they existed.

I was thinking about this today, because issues of religion, salvation and faith continually pop up in books where I'm not expecting it. I'm thinking of three books in particular: The Queen's Fool, Wicked, and New Moon (which I'm reading now). Each of these books involves characters who are trying desperately to get it right.

The Queen's Fool takes place during the English Reformation, and the heroine is a Jew caught up in the tug of war between Catholics and Protestants. The character's spiritual dilemma is whether God really cares that much about whether we believe the right way (although she's mostly trying to avoid being burned at the stake).

Wicked is set in a world without Christianity, but there is a religion that is similar in practice. In this one the main character, Elphaba, is believed to be bad because of the way she looks, and she is preoccupied her whole life with trying to be good. Even when people are trying to do good, they can still make a mess of things.

Finally, last night I was surprised to see questions about God and salvation come up where I least expected: a teenage romance about vampires. But then again, it makes sense. Lots of people have experienced the feeling of becoming something scary and not altogether good (because of anger, infatuation, sadness, lust, or werewolf genes). If I can't control myself, am I doomed?

The underlying question that pops up again and again in "secular" fiction, is this: What does it take to be redeemed? If I'm a vampire or a green witch, can I somehow make up for it by trying really hard to be good? If I follow the rules of my religion very carefully, does it matter what religion I follow? The answer that leaps out of my heartfelt conviction is that God's grace can overcome anything. Vampire, Witch, Drug addict, criminal, liar, or just plain ordinary person who makes mistakes, no one is hopeless.

So why am I spending time thinking about hypothetical theology of fictitious realities? C. S. Lewis points out that fantasy helps us to understand things about our own reality, and helps us to wrestle with difficult questions. It is so clear from our books and movies (I'm thinking of the movie Constantine as a great example) that we are so tied to this idea that we have to be "good enough" or we'll be supernaturally punished. We worry about "how good is good enough." The answer is simple but really complicated from a Christian perspective. We don't have to redeem ourselves. We open ourselves to Grace, putting our trust in God's goodness and mercy. It happens tentatively at first, like when we first begin to open up to a new friend.

As often as I see it in our fiction, I see this question with people in real life too. Regardless of religion and culture, so many of us walk around with the fear that we aren't good enough. I don't think that's what God sees. I think we are capable of good, and we each have abilities that we can use for good. There's a line in a prayer of confession that I love, "forgive us we pray, free us for joyful obedience." In Christianity, the whole idea of being forgiven is tied to the idea that when we don't have to worry about our own souls, we can apply ourselves to living well without fear of getting it wrong.

And if, according to this line of theological reasoning, a vampire could put their faith in God and try their best to not drink peoples' blood and not be damned, doesn't that give us hope too?

*Let me be clear: I am talking about fiction. Please do not debate with me about real witchcraft and the possibility of real vampires. That is a discussion for another day.

Voting

2008-10-02T19:55:00.003-04:00

Well, the election is coming up fast! I know that a lot of us have questions about voting and the election process, so I have taken it upon myself to gather some information.

If you haven't registered to vote yet, there is still time, but deadlines are coming up! You can register and get other information at Rock the Vote. The deadline to register in Maryland is October 14, but it varies from state to state.

Also, if you are traveling or at school, don't forget to request an absentee ballot. Google your state board of elections, and there will usually be downloadable absentee ballot requests. Again, the Maryland deadline is October 28, but check your state's deadline, and allow time for your ballot to come in the mail.

So once you are set up to vote, the question is... who are you voting for? Don't worry, I won't tell you who to vote for (most of you know what I would say anyway), but I have found a few voter guides and references that might be helpful. A progressive evangelical organization called Sojourners, which has ties to the United Methodist Church, has a voter guide that discusses a range of topics for Christians to consider. The United Methodist Church's General Board of Church and Society has also put together a very extensive voter guide that lists the UMC's official stance on different issues, and compares the stance of the McCain and Obama campaigns. Relevant Magazine also has a politics page with some info and discussion.

These resources are provided because we can let our faith influence our votes without imposing our beliefs on others. They are also intensional about raising a lot of different issues, because Christians need to remember that there is more to politics than regulating sex (abortion/gays). I hope these are helpful.

Planet Money

2008-09-22T18:35:00.003-04:00

If you're like me, keeping up with the economic news can be a little confusing (and boring). Of course it is pretty useful to understand economic... stuff, and I'm trying to catch up. A few months ago I started investing in a mutual fund... and I've only lost $13! (If buy low-sell high is the key, it seems like this was the time to start?). I would like to have some idea of what's going on in the world of mortgages and stock markets, but a lot of the time that kind of talk makes my eyes glaze over.

Anyway, as an avid listener of This American Life, I was excited to find out that a couple of segments on the current economic crisis is being spun off into a whole podcast called Planet Money. Its really not as boring as it sounds! NPR reporters like Alex Blumberg do a great job of making economics understandable and even interesting, spicing things up with stories of people actually involved in and affected by the economic craziness going on.

http://www.npr.org/rss/podcast/podcast_detail.php?siteId=94411890

25 reasons my birthday was fabulous!

2008-09-22T00:44:00.001-04:00

1. I am 25!
2. We went to New York Tuesday and drove through the Li-i-i-incoln Tunnel!
3. Megan x 2 = fun times
4. Sushi and rice balls for dinner!
5. Ran into Jackie and Pat at random in Times Square
6. Greeted my birthday in a bar with karaoke run by Broadway wannabes.
7. Spent the night in a fancy Manhattan hotel.
8. Lots of birthday greetings on facebook (although I couldn’t receive text messages that day)
9. Saw cool installation art piece in the New York Times building.
10. Went to the theater with Jackie and Megan.
11. I saw Wicked and it was so awesome I almost peed my pants.
12. Bought myself a sweet “Defy Gravity” t-shirt… it’s green!
13. Grampa left me a singing voicemail (he has the same birthday). Erica left me an even longer singing voicemail.
14. Had a birthday party on Friday with awesome people.
15. Bo Manor varsity football beat Elkton, although I wasn’t there.
16. Megan Gibb made me a cake.
17. Jackie, Pat, Loretta, Ashleigh, Phil, Megan G and Bryna were there.
18. We drank a 2005 Pinotage that I bought with Santie and Kate in Stellenbosch. Oh the memories!
19. We watched Pillow Talk, starring Doris Day, Rock Hudson, and Tony Randall.
20. Bryna spent the night and we had a great old people talk.
21. My parents took me out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant on Saturday.
22. Kellan had to go to the emergency care center with a football injury that flared up during dinner but he’s ok now.
23. Troy and I awkwardly ate sushi and seaweed salad while Mom tried to figure out how to get us home (Dad took Kellan in the car and left us to eat).
24. Aunt Lauri and Uncle J picked us up and took us home and then we talked about politics.
25. I just finished off the last of my birthday cake and thought about how great a week its been.

Complaints from an Introvert

2008-09-11T14:04:00.002-04:00

In many ways, the world has a pro-extrovert bias. You are supposed to speak up to claim your wants and needs. In the academic world part of your grade often depends on speaking up in class a certain number of times. In seminary, I am told that my voice is important; my opinion matters as part of the community here and therefore it becomes my obligation to speak up and share my thoughts. At this moment (with my cranky pants on) I think that is stupid. I appreciate the invitation and affirmation, but most times I'd rather keep quiet.

Before class today, I was reading and overhearing a group preparing a presentation for next week's class. Their task is to lead the discussion of the week's readings. One of their ideas was to split up into small groups for part of the discussion. (We are constantly breaking into small groups to discuss.) Someone made the comment that this would give the introverts a chance to speak up. This is a true statement, and something that I consider when making my own lesson plans, but something about that person's tone struck me as so condescending. What if I don't want to say anything? Really, small groups mean that you can't escape talking, even if you don't have anything to say.

I'll admit that part of my desire to stay quiet stems from social anxiety. When I try to speak up in class, my heart races and my mind often goes blank when I am called on. But I also don't like to speak up because I like to listen. I like to process things, and often I don't formulate something of substance to say until much later. It goes against my grain to speak up and say something pointless or repetitive or obvious just so that people can hear my voice. Plus, I have always preferred a lecture-format for class. I like taking notes, and note-taking is the main way I absorb information. In class discussions, as interesting and important as they are, I don't absorb much.

When it comes down to it, my job is focused around talking to people, which I love, but it drains me (that's the definition of introversion). At school I would much rather sit quietly and listen. It doesn't mean I'm not engaged in the discussion, or that I feel my opinion isn't worthy of being shared. I'm just quiet sometimes.

Growing Up

2008-09-10T16:08:00.002-04:00

So I know I've been talking about my upcoming birthday for like.... 7 months or something. It feels like a big deal that I'm turning 25, not because it seems old, but because 25 seems really... adult. At 22, 23, even 24 you can sort of get away with being just out of college and not a real adult. At 25 you're like a legitimate adult. Its the age my aunts told us that we had to be before we got married, which means that they assumed we would be mature and responsible enough to handle adult life by that point.

A lot of the time I feel like I am just pretending to be an adult (and I don't even pretend all that well most of the time). And then of course, what is the incentive to grow up and act like an adult? I live at home with my parents. I work at the church where I spent my teenage years (and thus many people still think of me as a teenager). I spend significant amounts of time hanging out with teenagers or on a college campus. I work at camp during the summer. It occurs to me that in this life situation, I may never actually grow up.

There is a whole list of things that I thought I would do, or wanted to do by 25, and I haven't done a lot of those things yet. I'm not really sure where I'm going or where I want to go, and I think that's why I've been feeling all weird and directionless lately. Its like my heart is trying to give birth to a 25-year-old life and its taking a long time.

And just as I was thinking about all of this, I looked in the mirror and found a gray hair.

Oprah and Jesus

2008-09-03T16:52:00.004-04:00

I am watching Oprah, which is something I don't often do. I was a loyal Oprah viewer for years, but I stopped when she started really freaking me out with The Secret. Today I was suckered in because the Jon and Kate Plus Eight family was on for the first part. Now she's talking about A New Earth.

It always amazes me how many authors write books that basically tell us stuff that we could get from reading the Bible, but completely divorced from Christianity. Now, I am a believer that truth is found all over the place, and that we can find points of intersection between Christianity and a whole host of religions and philosophies. When new books like this come out, though, I kind of want to say, "Duh, we've been saying that for like 2,000 years" (and the Jews have been saying it even longer, and actually I'm pretty sure lots of other religions have been saying this stuff too). This woman on Oprah just said that she finally understood 1 Corinthians 13 - love is about getting over your ego and getting out of the way. Maybe she would have understood that sooner if we didn't reduce so much of scripture to either fuzzy words or condemnation.

People want to believe in redemption and renewal. I do understand the impulse to steer clear of a set religion, because so often religions oppress, judge, demand, condemn, etc. On her show, Oprah occasionally mentions Jesus, but more often she offers a brand of spirituality that is about making the world a better place in whatever way that means for you. No doubt a whole lot of good has been done in the world because of Oprah's influence (along with a good deal of conspicuous consumption). What the Oprah phenomenon tells me is that people want to make the world better, but they don't want to be told that they have to do it a certain way.

I think Christians can glean some insight from this if we try. God works in a lot of different ways, so I think that any movement that makes people try to do good is a good thing. The question is, how can we do a better job of meeting spiritual seekers where they are, and helping them to know God's love as they explore their purpose?

Real World Update

2008-08-30T23:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I'm back from my road trip!

The rest of the trip was more of a whirlwind but still great. We drove all day and got to Charleston in time to check into the Not So Hostel (which I totally recommend) and then get dinner. We went to this great place called Jenine's Kitchen or something like that... it was good southern food, and we left very satisfied and with food babies of various sizes. Then we went back and played Scrabble because our glass end table had a Scrabble board built into it!

The next day we drove down to Vero Beach, Fl where we met up with Megan's friend Allison and her boyfriend Chris. We had dinner at a beachfront restaurant, which was lovely and then hung out. The next morning we got up and drove up to Gainesville to see my family. I always love seeing my cousins! We ended up going to my cousin's wife's parent's house, which was fun. I love how our families kind of blend into each other and it was totally natural for me to bring my two friends to a house that I'd never seen before. I got to catch up with some of my cousins and play with their adorable kids! I love hearing about all of the things my cousins are up to; going to law school, going into the family businesses, starting cooperatively owned grocery stores, etc... its all interesting. Seeing family makes me feel so much more grounded and connected.

So the next day we drove back. We got to Megan's house at like 2 am, and got to my house at 3 am. The next day I took Jonny to DC and hung out at Meredith's for awhile. Wednesday I went to work and then went down to Bmore for Bryna's birthday, and Thursday was my first day of classes (ok technically Monday was but I decided to skip so I could prolong my trip). I've done a lot of driving this week. Friday I went to camp to take care of some stuff and then hung out with Loretta, Ashleigh, Megan and Phil. Today I went to the UD vs. UMD game. Its been busy!

Tomorrow I am going to my church for the first time since before Camp! I'm back to the real world of school and work.

One Step Closer

2008-08-28T23:59:00.004-04:00

I think someday I will tell my kids about tonight.

I grew up hearing about the civil rights movement of the 60's, about the fight for women's rights, and about the power of the people to change injustice. I grew up wanting to change the world, not so that I could say that I changed the world, but because there is so much injustice in this world that needs to be changed. I have been frustrated for years because I wanted to fight for justice and peace, and then when I started to find ways it didn't seem possible to make a difference. I was told that I could do anything, but still the leadership of this country and many other institutions (like the church) is white, male, and older. I became an adult during a time when I couldn't find any politicians who spoke for me (or to me).

But tonight, as I waited to hear Barack Obama speak, the weight this historic moment hit me. We might actually have a person of color become president. And he's a hapa (a half-white person)! This is a candidate who is reaching out to the young, and a democrat reaching out to progressive evangelicals. He is someone who says he wants a united and empowered American people. I'm not sure I can articulate what this means to me, but I do know that it is a very significant step toward real racial equality. This is the kind of progress that I have been yearning for. This doesn't mean that Barack Obama should be elected just because he's black, but it is cause for celebration.

I am grateful that I benefit from the strides made toward racial and gender equality, and tonight I am hopeful that I will see many more steps in the right direction.

Today's Horoscope on FB

2008-08-22T23:42:00.000-04:00

Virgo:

Friday, August 22
You can get everything done that you need to do if you are willing to re-prioritize. Plan a trip with friends but be flexible with your plans. There are many factors that cannot be accounted for. Advice from a friend could push you off the fence in either direction.

Road Trip 2.1

2008-08-22T07:15:00.001-04:00

It is before 7 am and I am awake. That doesn't often happen but we are waiting for the Cedar Island Ferry and watching the sunrise.

So far the trip has been relaxing and a little bit surprising. Sunday we went to church in Hurlock, Md with Camp people, and afterwards we were invited to a fabulous church picnic complete with pot luck food and crabs! That afternoon we headed down to Williamsburg. We got there at 10 PM and were greeted by a 9 year old girl who chatted to us the whole time we were setting up our tent in the dark, despite our polite attempts to shoo her away. We worked at a camp all summer! Who let's their kid big random strangers in a campground at night? Oh right, the same people who let their kids run screaming through someone's campsite at 9:30 in the morning. These kids were close enough that we could hear them whispering.

Anyway, we spent a fabulous day at Colonial Williamsburg and did many educational and fun things. We ate dinner at this fabulous place called "Food for Thought" which not only had great food, but was themed around good conversation. We had question cards on the table and there were quotes everywhere. It was mostly American food but I had the Thai One On noodles which were amazing.

Tuesday morning we got up and drove down to Southern Shores where Sarah R was staying with her family. We got there in time to spend the afternoon at the beach and then go get dinner at the Rundown which was also pretty good.

While we were there we found out just how bad the Hurricane situation was down in Florida. I need to stop driving south during hurricane season. Our plan was to drive to Charleston on Wednesday, then on to Florida for the weekend (apparently Fay was planning to spend the weekend there too). So after some grumbling we drove to Ocracoke, stopping at the Wright Brothers Memorial and at Bubba's Too in Avon. Bubba's Too was really good although it wasn't as nice inside as the original Bubba's and apparently they do Mexican food as well as BBQ now. Why wouldn't they?

Ocracoke has been nice. We set the tent up in the dark again and then hit the beach for while. It was a beautiful night but the mosquitoes were awful. The bugs and the heat made it difficult to sleep but we managed to get up and spend some time in Ocracoke Village. I love it there! We stopped at Ocracoke Coffee Co, which offers free wifi. We also went to a bunch of cute shops and to Teach's Hole to see pirate crap. Blackbeard (Edward Teach) was killed near Ocracoke. We went into the shop but not the museum. We went back to the beach to catch up on sleep and then went to Howard's Pub for dinner. I had this amazing teriyaki tuna sandwich. It was heavenly.
So now we're headed to back to mainland NC and then south to Charleston and tomorrow we'll make another attempt at visiting Florida. I want to see gators!

Feeling Beachy

2008-07-28T12:42:00.001-04:00

Well i'm here. We got to the house in time for dinner and had a nice relaxing evening which involved a fire built by my cousins and some singing of musicals.

Now i'm sitting on the beach for awhile. We are celebrating birthdays tonight - all of them from March to August plus Erin since she'll be gone for her birthday. That means there will be lots of food.

Shitama Family Road Trip

2008-07-27T11:38:00.001-04:00

I'm actually taking real vacation days! Jurisdictional Conference didn't count as vacation, but going to the Outer Banks does! I'm only going until Tuesday night at which time I am taking Erin up to the Philadelphia Airport because she leaves for Indonesia Wednesday morning. Then its back to camp.

Currently I am sitting in the parking lot at Chesapeake College. I really wanted to get on the road earlyish and get down there. The boys were supposed to meet me at camp at 9:30 or so but of course that didn't happen. So they got there at 11. And we're waiting for Erin now. Gah.

Well now she's here so we can go.

Peggy Johnson elected bishop!

2008-07-17T14:17:00.001-04:00

This afternoon we elected a new bishop! HER name is Peggy Johnson and I could not be more happy. I kept joking that I wanted a woman of color to be bishop, and honestly I do long to see more peoples represented in our leadership. I saw a few wonderfully inspiring women of color who have inspired me to keep pushing for racial justice, but they were not elected. That said Peggy represents a group that is even more under-represented: people with disabilities. She teaches the immersion into deaf culture for Wesley Theological Seminary. She spoke passionately (and signed) about how people with disabilities need a voice. I could see the joy of the two deaf young men when the election was announced. This is such a great day for our Jurisdiction and I hope it is affirming for our members with disabilities.

This week has done a lot to encourage me about the state of the church. Last night we celebrated the retirement of two female bishops, and today we heard preaching from the first Japanese-American bishop. There is a lot of talk about going out into communities and meeting people wher they are. There is talk about starting new ministries that reach people who were previously ignored by the church. We created a new jurisdictional council on young adult ministries, which is an important step. We're still talking about the loss of members and money, but I think people are encouraged by some of the ministries and movements that are happening.

No blogging?

2008-07-16T12:01:00.004-04:00

Ok, I just said that I was impressed at the efforts to include young people, but I also wanted to comment on the fact that it seems like the church doesn't get young people at all. As often happens, "including" seems to mean inviting people to show up and speak, but without being culturally accommodated. In our attempts to be a global church, we often forget to speak slow enough or provide interpreters for those who do not speak English (and things generally operate in English), and we forget to make space for people who are culturally more hesitant to step up to the microphone. (Although today one of the Bishops did ask people who are white or older to pause and allow space for youth, young adults, and people of color to step up first).

But lets get back to the youth. I was having a conversation with someone last night, and we were talking about the laptop and cell phone ban as a sign of the cultural age divide. I am sure these things are considered a distraction, but for us they are a way of life. I was planning on blogging throughout Jurisdictional Conference as a way of connecting people to the process (and a way for me to process the experience). Teens are often out of hand with texting, but one of our youth delegates was texting all day yesterday - to our Conference YPM Director. This was his way of responding and reacting to the candidate interviews. Personally, I can't sit still for more than two hours without multi-tasking or I will lose focus. If I had my laptop during the 13 interviews yesterday, I could have been googling the candidates, looking for more info on them, reading their blogs, etc. These rules about electronics are hardly a human rights violation, but they are another way that the next generation is subjected to the social norms of the previous generation.

Jurisdictional Conference

2008-07-16T10:35:00.000-04:00

I'm currently in session at Jurisdictional Conference in Harrisburg. I am blogging illegally because not only are we not allowed to have laptops out but we also aren't supposed to have cell phones on in session.

Yesterday I sat through 35 minute interviews with 13 episcopal candidates (people who could become bishop). It was a long day, but I was also inspired to see so many wonderful female pastors. Many of them talked about attending seminary in a time when many still considered it unbiblical for women to become pastors. This was only 50 years ago! Of course we are still in the midst of the ascent to racial and gender equality.

At this moment we are hearing about Bishop Roy Sano, he first Japanese-American bishop. We have several Asian bishops but as yet no female Asian bishops.

I have been impressed at the efforts to include young people, including two deaf teens.

Kane

2008-07-05T16:10:00.001-04:00

I am on a whirlwind trip to Kane, PA for my great-uncle Ron's funeral. We left camp yesterday around 4 and now, 24 hours later we are headed back to Maryland. We didn't see Uncle Ron much but he was the last living sibling of my Grama who died in 2000. I don't think I've been to Kane since Great-Grampa Harry died in 2004. Who knows when I'll be back again.

We stopped by the house where my Grama grew up, since it will probably be sold now that Uncle Ron is gone. It is smaller than I remembered but the lawn is still cushy and the huge willow tree is still there. Erin and I were remembering hours of playing and picking blueberries in that yard when we were really little. Its sad to think that we probably won't ever go back to that house (without trespassing).

Its been nice hanging out with family today. Erin and I came to a few conclusions:

We are glad we have the type of family who has fun at funerals while still mourning our loved ones.

Our family is crazy.

The final test for a potential spouse is whether they can hang with our families.

When relatives ask what we're up to they are probably wondering how close we are to getting married.

Those relatives shouldn't hold their breath for weddings soon.

We are glad to have crazy families who like to see each other.

Test

2008-06-23T00:37:00.000-04:00

Fancy

2008-06-23T00:00:00.002-04:00

I think I have figured out how to post blogs from my phone! My
blogger account automatically forwards to my facebook too. Isn't
technology wonderful?

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Risk Zones

2008-06-22T23:48:00.000-04:00

On the challenge course (and with CC staff) we are constantly talking about getting out of our comfort zones and into our challenge zones. I have been personally trying to take more risks in my life for the last year or so - this is not something that comes naturally to me. Of course, we also talk about trusting our support system enough to step out.

I've been trying to trust the belay system though. God told me resign from my job and wait for new doors to open up. I'm hoping to travel more and do some new things. I'm trying to be more open with people. The challenge is recognizing when I'm being brave and when I might be acting stupid.

Its almost like a matter of good stewardship. I don't want to waste opportunities but I also don't want to throw away my life or my heart or my well-being. I was pondering over this today and I thought of the parable where the slave gets in trouble for burying the gold instead of investing it. The Message paraphrase of the passage says something like, "its criminal to live life without taking any risks."

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be a criminal.

Risk Zone

2008-06-21T15:52:00.000-04:00

I've been trying to trust the belay system though. God told me resign
from my job and wait for new doors to open up. I'm hoping to travel
more and do some new things. I'm trying to be more open with people.
The challenge is recognizing when I'm being brave and when I might be
acting stupid.

Its almost like a matter of good stewardship. I don't want to waste
opportunities but I also don't want to throw away my life or my heart
or my well-being. I was pondering over this today and I thought of the
parable where the slave gets in trouble for burying the gold instead
of investing it. The Message paraphrase of the passage says something
like, "its criminal to live life without taking any risks."

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be a criminal.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Megan Shitama
Youth Director, Chesapeake City United Methodist Charge
Phone: 410-885-5641
www.trinitytownpoint.com

Oh so Methodist

2008-06-14T00:48:00.002-04:00

Yes, I'm alive. I have now been at Camp since the end of May, and have survived Challenge Course training, Canoe Instructor training, Leadership Team training, and Staff training. That's a lot of training. Our staff seems pretty good so far, so I'm thinking it will be a good summer.

Meanwhile, I am at Annual Conference. Or, to be exact, I am at the Hampton Inn on Chincoteague Island, where my parents, Kellan, Erin, two of her friends, and I are staying the night. I go back to Conference bright and early in the morning. So far things have not been too eventful... there hasn't been any uncomfortable discussion, which is oddly unnerving.

I just took a shower in a real inside shower, and the clean white hotel washcloth turned a gross grayish-brown. It was so nice to get clean though. I scrubbed my feet like there was no tomorrow. That clean will last... until I put my sandals back on.

Tomorrow I'll be at AC until lunch time, and then we are going back to Camp for the inaugural Camp Pecometh Summer Staff Alumni Picnic. Yay!

De-Hulk-ifying

2008-05-19T14:26:00.002-04:00

The other day I was in the car with one of my youth and we somehow got to joking that I turn into the Incredible Hulk when I'm upset. We were only joking, but I think anyone with a temper or mood swings can sort of understand the feeling of becoming something scary and beyond one's own control. If I have been a confused and moody Hulk-type creature the past few days, I'm starting to shrink back into some version of myself.

Yesterday I came home from church and slept from 1-5 pm. This did not do much to help my insanely out of wack sleep habits, but I did feel somewhat better afterwards. The evening was one of those rare times that my family is (mostly) all in one place and getting along. Erin is in Honduras, but Kellan, Kieron and Troy were all home, so Mom insisted on having a family dinner.

This used to be a daily thing, but lately everyone has been busy enough that one of my purses sat on the dinner table for about two weeks after we got back from California without being the way. We are definitely still creatures of habit, though. I accidentally sat in Kellan's seat, because Troy was in my seat, because Kieron was in Troy's seat. The offense was bad enough that Kellan picked up my juice and moved it to Erin's seat; I had no choice but to follow my juice. After this we had a whole meal with no fighting and then watched Juno as a family.

Today I am having a slightly productive day. My plan is to get one or two loads of laundry done, and start packing up for Camp. I also ordered a cardigan to wear at Ashlee's wedding (I don't want to officiate a wedding with bare shoulders). If I can make it to the bank and Walmart, I will call this day a success.

Heart Pulled to Pieces

2008-05-18T03:55:00.003-04:00

How's that for an emo title, kids? Its never a good sign when I'm blogging at 4 am, but this one's been in the works for awhile. In the last few months I have resigned my first ministry job, finished my first full-time year of seminary, weathered a church crisis, and I continue to grieve Bud's death. Needless to say, my heart is feeling pretty raw right now. In the next three weeks I finish up youth group for the school year, transition to camp, perform a wedding, preach a Sunday, have Graduate Sunday, finish up confirmation projects, and launch our church's process of adopting Safe Sanctuary guidelines.

So... I'm not even sure how to put my current feelings into words. I feel sad. I'm feeling like I don't have time to feel my feelings because I should be doing the long list of things I have to do. I want to be with my friends, but when I'm with them I worried that I'm being too much of a downer. The bright spot in the last few months has been my youth group - I can't say how proud I am of them, and bonding more with them is making it so much harder to leave my job.

Don't worry, though. This is a phase, and one that I have been through enough times to recognize. This is what happens when God is tearing my world to shreds in order to rebuild it. That sounds more dramatic than I mean it to. God always puts things together better than I could. I trust God to do whatever God wants with my life (I do have a few suggestions, however). Between my faith and my exhaustion I can't do anything but go with the flow, and wait for that wonderful moment when the tightly wound feeling in my chest begins to unwind.

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

- Regina Spektor, "The Call" (At the end of Prince Caspian)

Why I don't bake....

2008-05-11T02:48:00.004-04:00

A conversation that I had with a youth group dad the other day:

Me: I like to cook, but I don't have time to. I'm only home for dinner about one day a week. I don't really bake though, because its a lot more -
Him: Feminine.
Me: ...Precise.
Him: Oh, that's true. Haha.
Me: Are you saying I'm too manly to bake?

Hilarious. Obviously he meant that I was tomboyish and not that I was manly. I hope. This conversation happened while I was making strawberry shortcake, whipped cream, and butter from scratch, with a bunch of teenagers. It was a little sketchy but things came out awesome. Who says I can't be domestic?

Moment of Sadness

2008-05-05T19:05:00.004-04:00

A saint of our church, Bud, died about a week and a half ago. He has been a leader, and as Pastor Amy likes to say, a pastor in our church for many years.

Tolkien wrote that fairy stories help us to work out the truth in our own lives, by allowing us to explore truth in other worlds. The archetypes and patterns in these stories are comforting because they translate easily into our own lives. In times of grief and struggle, these stories have often helped me to give voice to my own pain, and lately I have been thinking about Bud in light of the mentor archetype.

In trying to describe what he means to me, I have been telling people that he was the "Moses of our church." He lived the life of a prophet, urging us to do the difficult work of moving forward and reaching out. He has been instrumental in starting new ministries, and in blending our three congregations into one community of faith. As we continue to live into the vision God has given us, it is tempting to say, "What will we do without Bud?"

In the last month or so, as our church and youth group has weathered some storms, I have missed Bud’s presence. He has supported and encouraged me since I was a teenager, treating me with respect, honoring my ministry, and even making sure I was being paid “enough to live on.” I have been thinking about the moment in stories, when the mentor figure dies and the hero has to learn to stand on his or her own. The mentor rarely lives to see the vision fulfilled. In these stories, the hero despairs, not knowing that the mentor will somehow reappear later and everything will be made right.

Tolkien also says that these stories point us to the hope that we have in the resurrection; death is not the end, and someday things will be made right. Eventually, we learn that the mentor has taught us enough to help us reach the eucatastrophe. I have always paused at the moment in a story when all seems lost, because unless we feel the despair, we don’t full appreciate the “joyful upturn.” Today I am poised in that moment of sadness, but the stories I know are moving me gently toward joy.

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. - Dumbledore

Caution: Stimulate Wisely

2008-05-01T11:45:00.009-04:00

Well, people have started to get their economic stimulus checks. Let the mall madness ensue. In past generations, it was a person's duty to be prudent and frugal. Now, somehow we've come to a point where it is our patriotic duty to keep shopping. So wait, how did we end up in a mess of credit card debt, foreclosed mortgages and empty savings accounts?

I know that economics is complicated, but I can't help believing that a lot of our global problems stem partly from this uber-consumer mentality. But since the checks are coming out, and I am no economist, I will just make a plea that people buy less and spend wisely.

Here are some suggestions:

Save some of the money. As a nation we are spending more than we are saving. This is a problem, because then when things get rocky we don't have enough to sustain ourselves.

Supplement your food budget. The cost of food is rising! Buy local when you can, because shipping food long distances raises food costs, uses more fuel, and pollutes the earth.

Buy something you need, but can't necessarily afford. If you are thinking about upgrading to more energy efficient appliances, this might be a good time to do it. My TV is on its last leg, so I'm going to put some money aside to buy a new one.

Support products and causes that you believe in. If we buy from companies that have practices that are socially and environmentally ethical, more companies will jump on board (look at the organic trend). When we can afford to, we can practice responsible consumption by seeking out companies with the best practices (which are often more expensive).

Donate to charity, especially those that deal with hunger. In the Old Testament, a person was entitled to what they needed to survive. The have-nots were supported on the excess of the haves. Food prices are hitting the poorest people the hardest, and we have an opportunity to do something to help out.

Just some suggestions... shopping isn't the cause of our problems, but it isn't the solution either.

© 2008 Megan Shitama

More Primate Danger

2008-04-29T03:01:00.002-04:00

It started with Chimps using spears. But guess what. Chimps aren't the only problem. Orangutans have spears too now. Thank you Relevant for alerting the masses.

Wives, Obey Your Husbands...?

2008-04-22T22:06:00.004-04:00

In Bible Study on Friday I found myself in an all-female group, looking at 1 Peter 3:1-7. Well, actually it was next to the passage we were going to read, and I decided we'd read this one instead. This passage is part of one of the household codes in the New Testament.

As we were reading, Megan G. flipped back a page and said, "I wanted to see what they were talking about before... and they were talking about slaves." Yes, first they tell slaves that they should accept the authority of their masters and that if they are punished unjustly - lucky them - they get to suffer like Christ! Then they tell wives to submit to their husbands even if the husbands don't obey the word. Needless to say we read this passage with mixed feelings. As often happens, everyone looked at me with expressions that said "why are you making us read this???"

We shared some reactions to the passage... will a husband's prayers really be hindered if they do not honor their wives? Why does it talk about Sarah calling Abraham lord? It would kind of such to be Sarah at times. What do we do with these instructions?

We happen to be studying these codes in my New Testament class right now (which is partly why I wanted to hear what my friends' insights were). Today we looked at three different Biblical household codes. As it happens, the message of Christianity was liberating to women, slaves, widows, the poor, etc early on. Women held leadership and teaching roles in the church. Paul said there was neither slave nor free, Jew nor Gentile, woman nor man in Christ.

This message of liberation had the potential to upset the social system of the day, though, so eventually they started to use writings like these codes to show people outside the church that Christians were keeping the social customs. This was not just a PR move. Although these codes undermined the freedom that people were granted in Christ, they added expectations for husbands and masters. This was fairly counter-cultural. Men were told that while they had authority over their wives, children and slaves, they also had obligations to treat them as Christ would.

It seems to me these codes are a great example of what happens when something that is progressive for its time becomes an unchanging standard. So much harm has been done this way; these passages are still used to justify domestic violence and oppression of women. The New Testament is a conversation between different voices who were praying and writing about what it means to live as a Christian. The speak to us from a time before there were set standards and doctrines. The husband-wife relationship prescribed in these codes is liberating in its context; when we bring it into today's world it is oppressive. If we do not continue to push the limits of our understanding of scripture to be more inclusive and liberating, we risk robbing the Gospel of its power.

© 2008 Megan Shitama

Scary

2008-04-05T23:57:00.002-04:00

I went to Ashlee's bridal shower today, which was fun. Afterwards, we had a conversation about things that scare us. I can't exactly remember how it started, but it was pretty fun. Here is a list of 10 things we are afraid of, ranked by level of threat to us in ascending order.

10. Octopuses. This didn't actually come up, but it is well-known that Bryna is afraid of them.

9. Scary Babies. Nothing is scarier than scary babies. If a toddler or child is demon possessed and attacks you, you can't just fight back. At the very least you're going to hesitate because its a baby.

8. Pooping while giving birth. It can be embarrassing, and apparently it can cause mental retardation.

7. Radio waves. They've got to be doing something crazy to us. With the Bluetooth and the WiFi and the cell towers and stuff...

6. Genetically modified food. Ashlee did a paper on this topic in college and her assessment is that its "way sketch." Watch for her upcoming movie "Anthropologically Blonde."

5. Conflict in the Middle East. Obviously this is a big deal.

4. Chimps with spears. How scary is this? They are developing technology to take over. And as with babies, if a chimp attacks you, you are going to hesitate before fighting back because they are furry and human-like.

3. Robots taking over the world. My phone is smarter than me, my roomba creeps me out, and I'm afraid my Bluetooth headset is going to crawl into my ear and take over my brain. And if a person built this robot and put my phone in it as a brain, we would seriously be in trouble.

2. Chimps and Robots together. I admit, I got this theory from Relevant podcast, but its a scary prospect.

1. Scientists might create a black hole in Geneva that would swallow the earth. But don't worry, they're pretty sure that won't happen.

Valleys

2008-04-05T02:11:00.005-04:00

In ministry (and life in faith, and life in general), mountaintop moments are generally followed by valleys of struggle. This week has been a difficult one. Not crappy week difficult, but losing sleep and feeling nauseous difficult. I know that God is seeing me through this, because I can see all of the grace in my life. I am surrounded by people who are smarter than me and willing to advise me. I have the benefit of experience that has proven helpful. I serve a wonderful group of kids and a loving group of parents. I have people to call when I'm melting down.

There are moments, though, where the weight of empathy gets to be too much. I always think about my counseling textbook defining empathy as experiencing another person's feelings as if they were one's own, but without losing the "as if" quality. I think I lose the "as if" quality sometimes. There is so much pain in the world that it can be overwhelming. If more people knew how much their friends and neighbors were carrying around or living with, we might have a more compassionate world.

Meanwhile I am totally aware that it is by the grace of God I am able to navigate these situations with some amount of... non-failure. God really is good, even when sucky things happen.

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

- Jars of Clay

my heart strangely warmed

2008-03-30T23:15:00.002-04:00

Today was a great day in the midst of a blur of slightly frantic days. I have been running back and forth between school and work, and God broke through the busyness and got my attention. I started my day tired and cranky, and had three worship services to sit through.

The three services ended up being such a blessing. The scripture for today was on Thomas, which I love. I took communion three times, which was nice. One of my confirmation students gave an excellent presentation on Justifying and Sanctifying grace (with a poem and singing). Each of the confirmands is going to give a presentation on some topic we covered over the next few months.

In the third service, after I took communion, I knelt at the altar to pray and felt a rush of gratitude. I felt that thirst for God that is too easily (and too often) drowned out by other thoughts and feelings. I prayed to be filled with God's Spirit.

We only had one student come to the middle school group, so we did some reflection on scripture and then spent time hanging out.

Our high school meeting tonight was also about the Thomas scripture, and I talked about how God knows our needs and our doubts. I tend to focus on discipleship and justice a lot, and I shy away from plans that deal with "getting saved," because a relationship with God is so much more complex and deep than a list of sins being erased. Tonight, though, I made space for personal time with God. We spent the last 15 minutes praying and reflecting on our relationships with God. Of course this would be the week that we had a visitor who is not really Christian, but I assured him that we did not have any expectations, and he could use the time as he pleased.

At the end we stood in a circle and prayed. When it was our visitor's turn, I was surprised to hear him thank God for showing him that not all Christians are the stereotypical people with a list of what is bad and what is good. My heart almost overflowed at that point! Since I started this work, it has been on my heart to create a safe place where youth can feel comfortable and accepted no matter who they are. As I looked around the group, it was clear that this was finally happening. God is so good.

The Shredder on Eli Stone

2008-03-27T23:45:00.001-04:00

Oh My Gosh. I love the show Eli Stone! It's like Alley McBeal with a spiritual edge. And Jonny Lee Miller. Oh and Victor Garber. And better singing and dancing! And... an wise Asian acupuncturist/spiritual guide with a fake Chinese accent... who is played by a Japanese-American guy.

Tonight I looked at imdb.com, and was looking at the different actors' histories. I discovered that not only did James Saito (Dr. Chen) do cameos on a bunch of shows, but he was the Shredder. That's right. He was freakin' Oroko Saki in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This show just keeps getting better.