Annual Nostalgia

One of the great things about blogs is that in January I don't have to go searching through journals to find last years' resolutions, because I always post them. So, of course I went back to look at last years resolutions. They were:

1) Write more. (Fail)

2) Develop better spiritual habits. (Fail)

3) Manage my money better. (Semi-fail).

I'm not doing resolutions this year, unless I come up with something really good.

Anyway, while I was looking at my blog, I realized that I have been doing my blogspot page for 4 1/2 years which is kind of a long time. Looking back at my earliest posts, they are really Jesusy, and I realized that is because in 2005 I had blogger for spiritual stuff and xanga for randomness. So of course, I went to the xanga which I started in 2003. That seems like so long ago (because it is). I love going back and reading old blogs, journals, letters, etc, and I have to say, my 19-year-old self is pretty amusing.

A lot of it is pretty boring... random tidbits about my friends and things that I wanted to do. But I am humbled to realize that I was once guilty of those cutesy "I miss my boyfriend and he's so cute" posts. I'm sorry guys.

I also talked a lot about indie bands and the local Christian rock scene. I used the word "rad" at least once. Man I was such a hip ironically nerdy scene kid. This was of course before emo meant "suicidal" and when guys had to buy their skinny jeans in the girls' section.

Interestingly, I just read a post about struggling with leadership where I was lamenting the fact that my friends never respect my authority. This is actually something I was talking about the other day with a leadership team person... I'm really lucky to have had lots of leadership experiences and I think I've come a long way.

It was also nice reading comments from friends who I was close to at the time, and remembered how they influenced my faith, encouraged and respected me, dreamed with me, and talked about books and music. I also remember the blog wars from college, and how Bryna and I would have long blog back and forth discussions usually about existential crisis-related issues. Memories...

Long story short, its funny to see where I was 6 or 7 years ago, and I'm comforted that even if my 2009 resolutions fell short, I've grown up a lot in some important ways.