Tuesday, May 24, 2005

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord

With college ending, and everyone talking about their future plans, I can't help but think about how we end up with the plans we have. Most of us come up with plans based on our talents, dreams and desires. Others also take into account the ways God has worked in their lives. Sometimes our plans come from divine inspiration and seemingly not much else. It seems like a big source of discontent and confusion for people of faith comes from assuming that we know or can figure out the details of God's plan.

For years I've had a vision for my life that included youth ministries and my community. I spent so much time in college wondering how it would work out that I could spend my time involved in youth ministries and still make a living. Last summer, I finally gave in and told God that I would go into full-time ministry, even though I knew that I would probably end up more or less itinerant, because the Methodist Church tends to move people around. I wondered why God would place my community on my heart and then ask me to commit to leaving home. A couple weeks later, I met with Pastor Amy about joining Trinity, and she told me that the church was hoping to hire a youth minister and she had me in mind. Hello.

My roommates and I have been wondering about our futures. There are so many unanswered questions about the next few months and years, and its been a struggle for me not to worry too much. While most things in my life are falling into place, there are still pieces of my heart that don't seem to fit in with the big picture. God has been weeding out the things in my life that are incongruent with God's plans for me, and I'm at the point where I'm starting to wonder why some things aren't lining up yet. I've been burdened with feelings and ideas that don't seem to fit with the plans God has revealed to me. Because I have been learning to only carry the burdens that were intended for me, all I can do is offer up my burdens over and over. If they fall back on my shoulders I assume they are here to stay- at least for awhile. I have been able to identify a thorn in my flesh, and my heart wants to keep asking God "why won't You tell me what this means?" Apparently the answer is
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."


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